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This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof DVD Front

This Isn’t Piranha 3DD …It’s A XXX Spoof

Year: 2012
Runtime: 255
Distributor: White Ghetto
Studio: White Ghetto
Our Score

A porn knock-off of Alexandre Aja’s hilarious “Jaws” follow-up, “Piranha”, this is not. Oh no. There are no fish with razor sharp teeth devouring half naked college students in this show. Sorry. Instead, you are served up a steady stream of big breasted lasses (note the 3DD in the title), including Gianna Michaels (2010’s “Baby I Wanna Cum For You“), who actually appeared in the original film as an unlucky topless windsurfer getting chomped into two halves. Adding to the dissatisfaction, I’m sure, this collection of scenes appear to have been filmed in 2006 and 2007 and were, for whatever reason, shelved.

 

Falco Zito (2010’s “White Ass Attack 4“), working the camera and providing the erection, asks Brandy Talore how she is feeling. “Horny,” comes her sexy reply. At Zito’s urging, she pulls down her top and shows off her enormous Double D’s. God, they are a beautiful sight. Falco can’t stop playing with them, or talking about them, almost forgetting Talore completely. She seems slightly annoyed. It takes awhile but we eventually get to the sex. Shot entirely in POV, she performs her oral chores on him and then saddles up for some cowgirl and reverse cowgirl sex. No surprise, he finishes by screwing her tits. Must have been good, because when he shoots, it zips past past her head and smacks the pillows behind her. The rest spills out across her boobs.

 

Catching up with Gianna Michaels (credits: Gianna Michaels), porn to mainstream cross-over star of Alexandre Aja’s “Piranha 3D”, and now this turd, is sitting outside enjoying the air. Once again, Zito can’t resist staring at her boobs. “How big?” he mutters. “36 Double D,” she replies. Eventually she pops those puppies out her bra and Zito indulges by having her shake and slap them. He follows her inside, where she dances, preens and strips. Gianna is looking really good here. She is eventually joined by a tattooed fellow with short dark hair and a goatee. Following an impromptu lap dance, she drops to her knees and inhales his cock. A ot of love goes into this deep gagging session and Gianna nearly pukes, even turning her head away as to not vomit on him. So beautiful! Michaels is loud and lively getting screwed missionary, reverse cowgirl, spoon and doggy. To close, he screws her tits while she talks dirty and stares down the camera. He spurts his load on them. “I like this shit,” Gianna growls. She cleans him off and lets it drip down her chin.

 

Jessica Sweet (2004’s “Planet Max 19“), with black hair, is next up on the big boob hit list. Sitting outside, she shows off her all natural 34Ds. Lovely. The tattooed fellow from the previous scene arrives and gets to work sucking on her tits and rubbing her shaved pussy. Not bothering to move inside, they swap oral presentiments and then he screws her missionary, doggy, reverse cowgirl and spoon. Planes fly back and forth overhead, nearly drowning out the blissful sounds of their sweet love-making. Keeping with formula, he screws her tits and spurts off a load across them. One errant spurt even drenches her neck. She cleans him off. When asked by Zito if she enjoyed herself, she replies, nonchalantly, “Yeah, it was fun.”

 

The next girl up is adorable blonde, Sophie Dee (2011’s “Wet Dream On Elm Street“). He interviews her, briefly. Cutting things off off mid-speak, Zito interrupts her: “Sophie, you’ve got an accent, Sophie.” She acknowledges the obvious fact that she is from England. For some reason I found this whole opening banter hilarious. She pours water on her boobs and presses them together under her top. Her nipples hard and poke so far out, I thought they might smash the lens. Just kidding. They do look yummy, though. Falco follows her ass as she saunters towards a nearby house. Once inside, she shows off her ass and her pussy and Zito can’t resist giving it a lick. She returns the sentiment, dropping to her knees and sucking on his cock. They scoot through a trio of positions, including cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, missionary and doggy, ending with some tit-fucking and load deposited directly into Dee’s open mouth. She spits it out onto her huge tits. Even she is surprised by the amount of semen he produced.

 

Tony, the director/camera guy (he kinda looks like Alex Sao Paolo, one half of the Bogas Brothers) , is running late for a house showing with Daphne Rosen. I think he’s supposed to be videotaping it, or something. Not sure? She seems slightly perturbed by his tardiness but agrees to follow through with the presentation. Once inside, he spies a bunch of dildos of different shapes, colors and sizes on her table. He enquires and she admits that she is a ‘cock tester’ meaning that she tests dildos for toy companies. He asks her to show him and, again, with nary a hint of shame, she agrees. Stripping down, she shows off her 34G’s and then demands Tony to get undressed. Not exactly Fabio, this guy, probably in his 50s or older, is sporting a huge beer gut. Rosen doesn’t care. Scooting over, she dives in, sucking on his dark, wrinkled sausage. After getting him erect, she saddles up and rides his cock in four positions including missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl and doggy. The bloated fellow hints that he would like to fuck Ms. Rosen in her tight ass and, in a shocking turn, Daphne agrees. Slipping it up her without a condom, the old bugger gets his fill of her tight anus. Flipping over, it’s back to the pussy. This time, he hints that he would like to squirt up inside her baby maker. “Come and get it, baby,” she mutters, giving him permission to deliver the creampie goods. Daphne’s up for anything, it seems. After a few pumps, he’s releasing that 50 year old man juice deep inside her 24 year old pussy. She pushes it out onto the couch. For the remainder, she digs in and scoops it out with her fingers.

 

Next, dizzy Kayla Kupcakes is outside reading a magazine when two guys, neither of whom are credited, arrive asking to use her phone. Apparently they got lost on the way to an audition, to model underwear. She invites them inside to use her phone, because, you know, reception sucks in the Valley. Realizing that the audition is over, the two guys settle into a conversation with Kayla, who admits that she too is a model. She offers to show them, including getting undressed and playing with a dildo. “Oh, you’re that kind of model,” one of the guys mutters. Hilarious. “I can’t take it anymore, you guys are making me horny,” a barely lucid Kayla mutters. The boys get out of their attire and she slinks down and sucks on their cocks. Next, the boys trade off between fucking her mouth and fucking her pussy. “You like that, whore?” one of the fellows grumbles. Pulling cock out of her mouth, Kayla replies, “Yeah, I do.” Classy. Upon running down six positions, one of the mooks can’t resist dropping his pent up genetic cargo deep inside her pussy. “Yeah!” she growls. Aferwards, she angles in front of the camera and pushes the guy’s genetic goop out. The other guy, sadly, never orgasms. Apparently he wasn’t ready for his close up.

 

Next up is Kelly Wells (2006’s “Cum Fart Cocktails 4“), looking a little haggard. Given her rigirous work schedule circa 2006, it’s understandable. She’s the only gal in the cast with tits not in the D or above range and it’s an exception I will be more than happy to make, given that she’s the sexiest gal of the lot. Her enthusiasm for sex and her non-stop dirty talk is infectious. She’s truly a female Wesley Pipes, spewing a torrent of verbal filth throughout the heated screw. The camera follows her (and her sexy butt pushed inside some Daisy Dukes) as she saunters inside the veranda of a nearby house. Hooking up with Steve Taylor, she gets to work sucking his cock. She hops on and starts riding in cowgirl. “I love it when I push my cervix up against your fucking cock,” Kelly moans. They run through reverse cowgirl and doggy. “I bet you wanna fuck that ass,” Kelly mutters to her handsome aramour. “You gotta earn your teeth,” she tells him. Satisfy the pussy, he gets the ass. Sadly, he never gets the chance. Some ultra steamy missionary sex finishes him off. He spurts off across her chest. Kelly calls it “titty frosting.” She cleans him off. “Look, I’m lactating,” she mutters.

 

Whitney Stevens (2006’s “Spring Chickens 17“) is the last up. She’s outside by a pond, crawling around on her hands and knees and getting dirty. When asked, she claims that she is 19 from California. The director has her remove her top, pours lotion on her breasts and then has her put her top back on. Okay. She has enormous, natural 34DD boobs and they look exquisite, top or no top. They head inside, where she hooks up with a fellow with long brown hair who kind of looks like Scott Lyons but isn’t. He screws her in reverse cowgirl, doggy, cowgirl and missionary. She orders him to move to another couch and proceeds to tit fuck his cock until it starts spitting up everywhere. She cleans him off.

Dates of Production: 2/04/2006, 2/27/2006, 6/08/2006, 8/01/2006, 8/30/2006, 2/10/2007 and 2/10/2007. Release Date: 07/05/2012.

Posted by JLB-Videotramp | 14 Sep 2012 | Reviews

2 Comments

  1. Tough Love 10 « VideoTramp
    03 Feb 2013, 5:52 am

    [...] You To Make My Ass Pregnant“) is enraged when his ex-wife, Sophie Dee (2012′s “This Isn’t Piranha 3DD …It’s A XXX Spoof“), arrives at his door late one night. Apparently she left him two years earlier for his [...]

  2. [...] Ghetto is at it again (see: “This Isn’t Piranha 3DD …It’s A XXX Parody“). Another undisclosed compilation dressed up to look like a feature. The title is misleading [...]

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Brandy Talore in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Brandy Talore and Falco Zito in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Gianna Michaels in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Gianna Michaels and guy in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Gianna Michaels and guy in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Gianna Michaels in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Gianna Michaels and guy in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Jessica Sweet in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
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Sophie Dee in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Sophie Dee and Falco Zito in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Sophie Dee and Falco Zito in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Sophie Dee and Falco Zito in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Daphne Rosen in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Daphne Rosen in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Daphne Rosen in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Daphne Rosen and Tony in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Kayla Kupcakes and two guys in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
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Kelly Wells in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
Kelly Wells in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
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Kelly Wells and guy in This Isn't Piranha 3DD ...It's A XXX Spoof
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