A financial system in complete freefall and pornography being illegally disseminated on the internet via tube sites and torrent havens, a lot of producers are turning their attention towards the one area of adult that remains untarnished by the current bleak economic landscape – porn parodies. T.T. Boy (1990′s “Rainwoman 4“), owner of Evasive Angles and T.T B Productions, is but one of those producers forced to alter his business model. Putting on hold his three flagship gonzo lines, “Black Street Hookers”, “Spanish Fly Pussy Search”, and “Orgy World”, he began to focus solely on producing a string of parodies.
Following the lead of his central competitor, Black Ice, T.T. realized that sending up popular ehtnically-diverse ’70s and ’80s era sitcoms and movies would be the most obvious route given his target market. In short time, he produced “This Ain’t Good Times”, “Can’t Be Different Strokes: The Reunion- It’s A XXX Parody”, “Can’t Be Roots XXX Parody – The Untold Story” and “Can’t Be Sanford And Son”. The latter is the one I will be reviewing, of course.
For those two or three people unfamiliar with the show, Sanford and Son was an American sitcom that ran on the NBC television network from January 14, 1972, to March 25, 1977. Considered NBC’s alternative to Archie Bunker, the bigoted white protagonist of “All in the Family”. Sanford and Son starred Redd Foxx as Fred G. Sanford, a 65-year-old widower and junk dealer living in the Watts neighborhood of South Central Los Angeles, California along with his 30-year-old son, Lamont Sanford (Demond Wilson).
Easy-going stud Mark Anthony (2010′s “Black Street Hookers 97“), star of nearly 1,000 movies, essays a rather sympathetic albeit lecherous Lamont, complete with huge bushy, awkwardly-applied moustache. In the shadow of the bigger than life Redd Foxx, twenty year adult industry veteran, Julian St. Jox (DVD case credits: Julian St. Jox. Film credits: Julion St. Jox), bares a slight resemblance body-wise and proves the obvious choice as Fred G. Sanford even if his performance seems almost half-hearted and lacking, by comparison. Maybe for this reason, much of Jox’s screen time is relegated to writhing on the floor, clutching at his chest. That aisde, I still found his work here to be hilarious. The film’s most notable stand-out arrives in the form of newcomer T.P. (credits: Total Package), as the greying, fumble-footed side-kick of Fred, Grady Wilson. Likewise, he’s hilarious. The majority of the laughs (outside of the ever-present canned kind) arise from Diamond Jackson in her turn as sassy, crotchety, frilly-hat-wearing Esther Anderson (aka Aunt Esther). Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty. God, what a woman Diamond is. Her seduction of Lamont’s slick pal, Rollo (Scorpio), prompted by too much alcohol, easily chimes in as the film’s most erotic scene.
Sets and wardrobe and funky music by Jai Syn and Eagle Eye perfectly compliment the show’s early ’70s time frame. As this my first experience with a parody from Evasive Angles and I have to say, I’m highly impressed. This is a fantastic film! Keep them coming, I say.
As Julio Fuentes (first time performer, single-named Julio) faces down Lamont (Anthony) in some one-on-one basketball, Julio’s sister Maria (Michelle Heat) desperately tries to get Lamont’s attention by showing off the fact that she isn’t wearing any panties. It works, much to Julio’s obvious irritation. Chasing them off is Fred, who is unable to differentiate Mexican from Puerto Rican – dialogue seemingly ripped right from the show.
Later, Maria encourages Lamont to join her in the backroom. Lamont’s worried that he might get arrested but she assures him that she just turned 18 and is horny. Michelle keeps her shirt on as Anthony screws her in four positions ending with him plastering her face and open mouth with cum. She cleans him off. In the aftermath, Lamont suggests that he might have accidentally spilled a little bit inside and thinks it would be best that they not mention it to Julio. Sadly, Julio is waiting out front. He’s horrified to discover that his best friend has just screwed his sister.
Next Rollo (Scorpio) arrives, wanting to know if Lamont can watch his kid sister Rihanna (Cleopatra Hendrix) as he has a hot date. Lamont is reluctant, that is until Cleopatra flashes her buttplug-filled ass at him. He agrees. Rollo’s date, Esther (Diamond Jackson) soon arrives, which sends Fred, Grady and Lamont into a convulsion of insults.
Stopping off at a liquor store, Esther promises Rollo a one-way ticket to Heaven, right on through her pussy. A sleazy motel room proves the backdrop for this hot, frantic fuck. Hard-bodied 40-something Diamond owns the role, spouting cuss words and Bible verses in tandem, as she rides on Scorpio’s dick in five positions. Just a scorching sex scene that left me wanting more. Hallelujah. He sprays a monster load across her face and into her open mouth. Some even gets in her eye. She doesn’t even bother to wipe it clean, diving in and sucking out every last drop. “Your ass better be in confession,” she tells him.
Back at the shop, Lamont is surprised at how much Rollo’s kid sister Rihanna has grown. Sexy-voiced Cleopatra Hendrix looks yummy as she puts on an impromptu strip show for Anthony. The temptation gets to be too much, and before long he’s throwing her across the bed and pounding her in a couple of positions. “Can I put it in this hole,” Anthony whispers to Hendrix, his dick rubbing against her anus. “Yes,” she replies. On the docket is a long, slow ass fucking. Cleopatra looks to be in pain early on but gradually starts to groove to it, even pushing herself back onto this dick at times. He squirts across her pussy. Afterwards, the two scramble around Lamont’s store in the buff and are caught by Rollo, who is fuming that his best friend has just screwed his kid sister.
Looking to prove that he can still get laid even at his age, Grady steps out to find a couple of ladies for he and Fred to play with. He happens upon a couple of chunky gals in Diamond Mason and GizelleXXX (no relation to Christian) hanging out downtown the next morning. Using sympathy and the promise that he’s a “high roller” he’s able to lure them back to Fred’s shop where they ply the gals with alcohol. Before long they are pairing off; Diamond hooking up with Julian and, in another room, GizelleXXX and T.P. get frisky.
Diamond Mason is a chunky gal with long black hair, a big booty and fair-sized natural boobs. She’s liberally sprinkled in tattoos (at least 9) and with two piercings, a pin beside her left eye and one in her tongue. Chubby Julian (2005′s “Anal Delinquents 3“) plays keep up with the young lady at least twenty years his junior in four positions before launching his genetic goop into her open mouth and across her face. She cleans him off.
Above the collar, T.P. looks like a 70 year old man. Below, he’s a super-toned tattooed stud with a big, workable dick. Chunky, braces-wearing GizelleXXX (credits: Gizelle XXX) has long brown, big booty and big natural tits. No tattoos or piercings that I could see. She gags up on T.P.’s cock and makes a mess of the floor. She’s a filthy talker, who seems to enjoy every second of getting slammed in four positions. T.P. delivers his package in the form of genetic goop across her left buttcheek.
In the closing moments, Lamont informs Fred that’s he’s going to be a grandfather. “Maria’s pregnant,” he tells him. The idea that his son might be the father of a “half-breed” (his words, not mine), Fred fakes a heart attack… or does he?
Dates of Production: 1/16/2011, 1/17/2011/ 1/20/2011. Release Date: 5/2/2011
Also credited is Tony, who doesn’t appear.