Ashli Orion shares co-hosting duties with Tom Byron (2010′s “House Of Ass 12“) this time out. Bad choice! Loopy, self-obsessed and totally un-focused, watching Ashli play make-cute is akin to watching a five year old tackling advanced mathematics. In a box full of dim bulbs, she’d be the dimmest. Bobbi Starr she is not. Byron’s a professional and try as he might, he simply cannot recover from his decision to let Orion play host. He knows he fucked up.

 

To keep things moving, Byron attempts to ask her a bunch of soft-ball questions and, almost every time, he is shocked by how utterly vacuous are the answers she arrives at. Tom has been in the business for nearly three decades so I’m sure he’s seen his share of gormless hotties but he seems slightly stunned. He really has no other choice but to get hastily to the next scene on the docket with brief (very brief) intro segments.

 

Jynx Maze (2010′s “Naughty Nanny 3“) is first up on his (no-assfucking allowed) “House of Ass” hit list. Ashli doesn’t know her but she would like to “motor-boat her ass” or something. God! Byron must be itching to screw the Mazer because he casts himself in the scene. Maze is a hot and spicy Latina princess and she’s more than happy to throw some great sex Byron’s way. What a great little ass she has, and it looks even better bouncing around Byron’s bed. The Icon does his damndest to keep up with the much younger up and comer, plugging away at Maze’s shaved pussy in about three positions before busting his nut across her face and into her open mouth. She cleans him off.

 

“She has a nice fucking ass!” Orion blurts when Byron mentions the next gal, frizzy-haired, ebony-skinned, Misty Stone (2010′s “This Ain’t Avatar XXX“). Byron is really proud to have fucked her, apparently. “I was really on that day,” Byron mutters of his scene with Stone, which he confides was very good. Easily placing in amongst the top ten hottest females of the current crop, hard-bodied Stone never fails to impress and this includes this scene which is easily the best of the film. Byron wastes no time burrowing into her asshole with his tongue. She thanks him by deep-gagging on his cock and then fucking him hard in five positions. Staring at her ass in doggy gets Byron a little too hot and he can’t resist pulling free his nozzle and spraying off a massive load across her right butt cheek. What a visual, Misty booty-shaking her fine ass which is covered in Byron’s spunk.

 

Alison Tyler is a tall brunette with an Amazonian body-build. This seems to fascinate Byron who keeps taking verbal note of how big she is. Alison seems pretty easy-going but Byron’s constant nods to her size quickly give way to some inner security issues, which manifest in a rather terse retort. She appears to be slightly offended (or getting there quickly) and Byron wisely chooses to scale back the commentary. Christian XXX (credits: Christian) arrives in the nick of time, and quickly changes the subject. Tyler has just turned 21, he informs Tom, adding that he can’t wait to get some of her post-birthday ass. And what a nice plump ass it is. He stuffs his tongue up her crack, to let her know that he is serious. That gets her into just the right mood, and she responds by offering old Mr. XXX a spirited, messy blowjob. She’s a big girl but Christian (2010′s “Don’t Tell My Wife I Assfucked The Babysitter 1“) , a hulking, muscular, 6 foot 5, absolute monster of a man has no trouble getting her into all sorts of positions (about five) as he endeavours to pummel her shaved box into submission. It ends with him busting off across her face and into her mouth. She licks the head.

 

Leslie Sierra’s crazy-hot, insanely-over-the-top sexing of Talon in “Boffing the Babysitter 9” got me more than excited to see how Byron would handle her. At only 4’11, this Latin cutie is a fireball of energy. Byron admits that he only met her a week ago. “That’s the great thing about porn, you meet someone one day and a week later you’re fucking them.” Bad timing on Byron’s part, it seems, as Leslie is recovering from a cold, and her throat is still a tad sore. Hopes for a great sex scene suddenly dashed. Maybe not. Byron asks her if she takes it in the ass. “Not yet,” she replies, giving all of us porn watchers hope for a better tomorrow. She blows him POV style and it gets messy. Byron next plays smooch-games with her anus, clearly un-phased by the fact that she has a cold. They screw in four very hot positions and she even stops briefly to eat his ass, you know, because she’s a lady. He busts his load across her face and into her mouth. She cleans him off, apologizing when she accidentally swallows up some of his jizz. “Ooops!” she giggles, adding, “I’m just so excited.” Me too. Great scene!

 

“I can’t wait to fuck you,” Ashli Orion (2011′s “Captain America XXX: An Extreme Comixxx Parody“) tells Byron, stroking him through his pants. Dim bulb or not, Byron’s a freak and, yeah, he seems rather excited about the prospect of hopping into the sack with this redheaded lass. Before leaving, Byron asks her if she wants to promote a website or something. “I just wanna fuck,” she tells him. Wow! That’s actually kind of hot. They head inside and within seconds Byron is tongue-deep in her ass. They don’t call him the Lord of Asses for nothing, I guess. He screws her in four positions and it’s surprisingly hot. He squirts off a load across her face and into her open mouth. She cleans him off.

DVD Extras: Lizzy Borden appears, interviewing Misty Stone, who admits that she isn’t interested in doing anal. She does shake her ass, though. There’s also a bonus scene from House of Ass 11 (scene 5) featuring Aubrey Addams and Tom Byron going at it.

No condoms.

Date of Production: 01/26/2011. Release Date: 02/23/2011.

Other things I noted while watching: All girls wore black high heels in their scenes.

Cast & Crew

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