Fair warning, this title features no anal sex. Believe it or not, it actually refers to legendary smut-slinger Tom Byron’s spacious home in the valley, which he fondly calls the ‘house of ass’.   That aside, this is very much a homage to the female posterior in all its glory. Here Byron is his usual affable self, happy to share hosting duties with former Vivid contract girl, Monique Alexander. They have a cute rapport.

 

During the intro, he explains that Monique had actually been to the illustrious “house of ass” prior as a guest at his 47th birthday bash. Images of the event flash on the screen. I was able to spot Tim Von Swine (2011′s “Fucking The Oldies“), Kaci Starr, Samantha Sin and Charley Chase (2010′s “This Isn’t Fast Times At Ridgemont High“) in amongst the crowd of beer swilling rabble rousers. ”It was out of control,” Byron admits of the evening, adding, “I don’t party like that very much anymore.”

 

Introducing the first girl, London Keys (2008′s “Daughter I’d Like To Fuck“), Byron asks Monique if she’s heard of her. She has… just barely. “I’ve been living in a bubble for the past five years,” Monique tells him, referring to her insular life as a Vivid contract girl. Having worked with Keys already on “Naughty Bookworms 14″, Byron suggests that she’s “gotten a lot better” since then. Oh, diss! The scene jumps away to an exterior shot of Byron’s house where London is dancing suggestively for the camera. Ms. Keys is Asian, from Seattle, with long black hair, a shaved pussy and big boobies. She has a ton of tattoos including small flowers running down the right side of her torso. Chicago pretty-boy Nick Manning (2008′s “Audrey Hollander Learns Kelly Wells What AssFisting Is“) arrives and they get right into it including some deep-gagging nastiness. They screw in three positions ending with Manning erupting from both his mouth (in the form of a trademark “Fuck!” screech) and penis. The penis expulsion lands across London’s face and into her mouth. She cleans him off. “Was that sensational love-making?”London asks Byron as the scene fades to black.

 

Next Byron introduces the “teenie tiny little thing with a perfect body” Rebeca Linares (2011′s “Marco Banderas Is The Latin Lover“). He explains how they had worked together on a couple of Vivid movies including “Devil in Miss Jones: the Resurrection”. “It still hasn’t come out… the one we shot like two or three years ago,” Byron tells Monique. I’m wondering if Vivid has Byron’s house bugged because “Devil in Miss Jones: the Resurrection”, the film he is referring to, was finally released on February 24, 2010, the same day as “House Of Ass 12″. From there the conversation branches off to their various AVN award noms and triumphs. On to the scene at hand as Linares, the spicy Latino, preens for Byron’s camera before joining him in his living room for a brief chat. “We fucked before,” Byron reminds her. “Oh, yeah, that was a long time ago,” she says in her sexy-sounding broken English. A quick grab at her ass, and Tom Byron (1985′s “White Bun Busters“) and Rebeca Linares are getting down to business. That leathery satchel-thing between his legs, his testicles, get a workout in her mouth. They get around to sex and, in the sack, Linares is a total animal, completely unhinged and forcing herself up and down on Byron’s cock with so much force that she probably could have started a small fire. Byron loses it after three positions, blasting his seed across her face and chest. She cleans him up.

 

Astrid Jaymes is next. Byron mentions that she looked better than her picture suggested. He describes her as “part Asian” and that she’d only been in the business “for about a month.” He teams her up with Justice Young, whom Monique describes as “quiet.” Astrid,  from what I can tell, only made a handful of titles before departing the business in 2010. She should have made more. She’s really quite beautiful, with long brown hair, a thin, sexy body and with text running down both forearms. Justice, her co-star, seems like a rough customer. He’s heavily tattooed, with a shaved head and a surly look about him. They screw and Astrid appears to have a genuine orgasm while riding in cowgirl. “I’m gonna… I’m gonna… cum… cum… shit.. oh my, god… fuck!’ she whispers to Byron, breathlessly. Later, in rc, she can’t resist telling Justice what she thinks of him. “Fuck you’re in me!” She even stops the fucking to ride out a wave, muttering, “Give me a sec. Give me a sec.” She’s either a great actress or she’s actually having herself an honest to god orgasm. Judging by her newness, I wouldn’t begrudge her the latter. He busts off across her nose and she cleans him off.

 

Nicole Ray, the adorable blonde from “Babysitter Diaries 4“, is next. Neither has a lot to say about her other than Byron admitting that he was “pleasantly surprised” that her scene opposite Nick Manning turned out as good as it did. She’s a spunky customer, so utterly cute that Byron has her do an extra-long tease and dance show for him. They move right into it, with Tom electing to cut the pre-sex interview short. Manning and her have shot together before, something they relate to Byron right off the bat, so the scene is less about them feeling each other out and more about just enjoying some good old hard-pounding sex. Four positions and a lot of energy and Nicole is jerking Manning’s erupting cock across her face and into her mouth. She cleans him up.

 

To finish up, Byron gives Monique Alexander (2010′s “Sex And The City The XXX Parody: In Search Of The Screming O“) the opportunity to plug a bunch of her websites and then the two scoot upstairs to, you know, work out all that sexual tension. She preens for his camera then makes for the comfort of his bed. They screw a little in doggy getting Byron erect enough to shift into some slow, hot POV oral sex. The real fun comes when Monique hops on for some hard-driving reverse cowgirl sex. It’s wild and rough and Byron’s bedsprings get a good workout. Missionary finishes Byron off, as he sprays forth across her cheeks, nose and into her open mouth. She cleans him off.

No condoms.

Date of Production: 12/08/2009. Release Date: 02/24/2010.

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