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Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody

Year: 2011
Runtime: 100
Distributor: Vivid
Studio: Vivid Superhero
Our Score

Appearing on the resume of smut-helmer Axel Braun, son of Algerian-born, self-proclaimed Euro Porn King Lasse Braun, the past two years has been an almost non-stop flood of flicks with “This Ain’t” or “Parody” in the title; his most successful (and critically praised) of them being “Batman XXX: A Porn Parody”, an enjoyably campy retro-romp in the vein of Adam West’s 70s era TV show. So successful, it proved to be the impetus for Vivid Entertainment to start up the specialized Vivid Superhero imprint, a line specifically designed to exploit the superhero-themed parody market. To date four super-hero films have been produced by the company, with Braun helming three with notably mixed results. His  “Superman XXX: A Porn Parody“, which was rushed into production, proved a little too solemn for audiences (and critics alike) and seemed to fade away upon its release. It is for this reason, I greeted with cautious optimism news that Braun was helming Vivid’s Spider-Man parody. We’ll see, I thought.

 

Hollywood’s recent trailer launch of a rebooted ‘Spider-Man’ proved just the hype Vivid needed to unleash it’s own rendering of the iconic arachnid avenger on the public, complete with an in-demand lead actor, Xander Corvus (following his highly-praised work in the Eddie Powell romantic-comedy “Lost and Found” and it’s follow-up “With This Ring”), as the emotionally vulnerable anti-hero Spider-Man/Peter Parker. There’s also the dream-casting, at least where I’m concerned, of former Extreme Associates-owner Rob Black as J.J. Jameson. If any actor was born to play Jameson, it was Rob Black. And Braun made it happen much to my surprise and delight. Clearly I wasn’t the only one who thought that.

 

As with Braun’s other non-superhero-related parody entries, there’s a distinct desire to chop away at basic story foundations in an effort to afford the sexual encounters time to play out (sometimes for such long stretches that they overstay their welcome and FF is required to endure). Thoughts of Braun and partner, Mark Logan (Eli Cross, I’m told), whittling down the script to incorporate ‘just the basics’ (enough to satisfy those curious comic book enthusiasts who might tune in along with the casual porn fan) lingers in my head. That in mind, with a veritable smorgasbord of cameos, and by-design open-ended character relationships, they do at least go to the trouble of establishing a jumping off point for a sequel (and another super-hero parody, namely Captain America (which I’m told is already in the can), and, possibly, The Fantastic Four and/or Hawkeye off-shoots) – something that, I’m sure, will leave viewers tingling with delight.

 

The villains, including Electro (Dick Delaware), Kingpin (Peter O’Tool), Doc Ock (James Bartholet), Green Goblin 2 (Michael Vegas, hair dyed black for the part) and Black Widow (a saucy Brooklyn Lee), and their never-ending attempts at besting Spider-Man, are intertwined with Parker’s various burgeoning romantic and familial story-lines including his hopeless crush on Mary Jane Watson (Capri Anderson — still riding a wave of tabloid interest following her infamous Plaza Hotel skirmish with Charlie Sheen last year) who has just arrived back in town; his caring for his Aunt May (Blyth Hess, who’s only other credit is for an episode of the “Call 911″ television series) and his wonky, unnerving friendship with dumb-as-a-box-of-rocks footballer Flash Thompson (Seth Dickens in another example of casting genius).

 

Technically, Braun’s d.o.p. Brock Landers has this unusual penchant for getting his camera (helmed here by Eli Cross) in close to the actors during the dialogue; sometimes so close you’d swear that Braun and his editing partner, Claudia Ross, were cropping the footage. I’ve noticed it before in other films where he d.p’ed, but here, it’s positively infuriating as best evidenced in the Daily Bugle office scenes which typically feature a hodge-podge of close-ups in which foreheads or mouths are either above or below the frame. The wardrobe (by Jeanne Jackson) and art direction (by Braun) are near seamless to the comics and movie source material, minus the ‘X’ logo in place of the standard Marvel copyright-issued logo.

 

In the opener, a lightning bolt zaps a man working on a power line which, in turn, births the electricity-harnessing villain known as Electro (played by former MMA fighter and recovering addict, Dick Delaware). This is followed by Jameson (Black) tearing Parker (Corvus) a new asshole for not acquiring pictures of a recent Spider-Man scrap with Kraven The Hunter. Afterwards, Bugle editor Robbie Robertson (Tyler Knight) asks to speak with Betty Brant (Sarah Shevon, whose impressive turn as twin-sister killers in Eli Cross’ “Scream XXX: A Porn Parody” still creeps me out) about a sexual harassment story. In an empty backroom, Shevon (bald) takes ‘dictation’ from Knight in a trio of positions ending with him ejaculating in her mouth and across her face. She licks the head.

 

Norman Osborn’s funeral allows Michael Vegas (hilarious in Powell’s “Scooby Doo: A XXX Parody“), as Harry Osborn, a few minutes to emote as he boils over with seething rage towards his friend, Parker – gearing us up for the second Green Goblin incarnation sure to arrive in the sequel.

 

Across town, Dick Delaware, in yellow-green leather Electro-garb, makes time with a street corner hooker, Tara Lynn Foxx (still alluring even with loose-hanging tummy skin, copious facial acne, and her brown-blonde hair matted down with sweat). Frenzied, sleazy hotel-room sex that ends with Delaware pulling free from Tara Lynn’s foxhole in missionary and launching an electricity-charged semen spray across her chest. It’s a high voltage charge that immediately stops her heart, killing her instantly. There’s a distinctly unpleasant shot of Delaware peering down coldy at her freshly-fucked corpse. Kingpin (Peter O’Tool) enters the fray at this point fostering in a story-strand to be carried over into the sequel, sending Delaware on an errand to recover an item only made visbible in the fim’s parting minutes.

 

If one shot best defines Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man best it’s the back alley scene in which Spidey (Toby Maguire) rescues Mary Jane Watson (Kirsten Dunst) from a trio of goons, only to be rewarded with a romantic near-unveiling and tender upside down smooch. Braun and Logan go it one further resulting in what will undeniably draw the film’s biggest laugh. Corvus hangs around as Capri goes to work on him with her mouth ending with a facial (she cleans him up). How he was able to remain conscious and produce a cumshot suspended in that position for that length of time is beyond me.

 

Returning home from screening “Black Swan” leaves Watson (Anderson) and Stacy (Ash Hollywood) feeling horny and Flash (Dickens) utterly confused. A blackout provides just the right setting for a threeway by candlelight as Parker rushes off to confront the obvious cause of the blackout, Electro. The girls go down on each other’s bald holes, followed by them sharing Dickens in a bunch of positions. Capri gets most of the attention and most of Dickens’ semen, which is deposited across her breasts and upper chest. The film’s only throwaway scene.

 

Parker tracks the blackout source to a warehouse (one belonging to S.H.I.E.L.D., as revealed in a Daily Bugle headline) across town where Electro assists two goons as they make off with a large crate bound for Kingpin’s office. Spider-Man and Electro go to war and it’s pure CGI-laced mayhem concluding with Electro laying in a steaming charbroiled heap.

 

In the aftermath, Spider-Man confronts Black Widow (Brooklyn Lee) who is lurking around the warehouse. She is looking for help in recovering whatever it was inside that crate. “Don’t you have plenty of super-heroes in your little club to take care of this?” Spider-Man says, mockingly. “What can I do to convince you (to help)?” Widow replies, instigating the film’s quintessential horizontal rumble as our two leather clad lovers mount each other in a half-dozen positions leading to Lee offering up her well-traversed ass to Corvus. Xander is so turned on by Lee’s offer of anal sex, that he erupts prematurely across her right asscheek, pussy and leather outfit. It’s a mess and Corvus realizes that, yeah, he fucked up. Lee’s sudden realization that she’s just sent her co-star around the orgasmic bend causes her to laugh out loud. No worries, Corvus has got the Viagra flowing through his system and is quickly re-inserting as if his massive orgasm was but a miner hindrance. A lengthy turn fucking Lee in the ass ends with Corvus ejaculating a second smaller load across her face. She sucks the head.

 

A quick unveiling of the contents of Kingpin’s stolen crate and the arrival of Doc Ock (Bartholet) looking to rent a room from Aunt May sends us out just the right note. The sequel promises to be awesome.

No condoms.

Dates of Production: 02/12/2011 to 04/05/2011. Release Date: 8/20/2011

Cool shit!: “Spider-Man” actor Andrew Garfield talks about watching “Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody” a “couple of times” for “inspiration.”

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Posted by JLB-Videotramp | 08 Aug 2011 | Reviews

13 Comments

  1. […]  ”wardrobe and art direction [in Spider-Man XXX] are near seamless to the comics and movie source […]

  2. […]  ”wardrobe and art direction [in Spider-Man XXX] are near seamless to the comics and movie source […]

  3. […] her friend, Linda (Tori Black). Everyone ends up in the pool, horsing around, as Bradley (“Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody” star Michael Vegas) arrives. Sneaking into a bathroom, he rubs one out to […]

  4. […] Natasha Romanoff / Black Widow (Tara Lynn Foxxx, cleaned up after her greasy tramp turn in “Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody” and 100% sexier than the Hollywood dope she’s mocking up) and a fairly sedate Bruce […]

  5. […] able to pull it off. Xander Corvus, where are you? Oh yeah, you’re busy making that “Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody” thing. […]

  6. […] beautiful,” Tyler Knight (2011′s “Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody“) tells tattooed blonde, Adrianna Nicole, as he crawls up on her and plays with her sizeable […]

  7. […] to be the film’s funniest 15 minutes as Tommy Pistol, Peter O Tool (2011′s “Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody“), Kylie Ireland (1995′s “Chug-a-lug Girls 5“), Ryan McLane, Brian Street […]

  8. […] Widow (Brooklyn Lee, reprising her role from “Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody”), a Soviet-super-spy turned S.H.I.E.L.D. agent/assassin, then, briefly, commander of […]

  9. Gape Gang « VideoTramp
    20 Jul 2012, 5:16 am

    […] “Oooops… I Did My Daddy’s Best Friend“), Sarah Shevon (2011′s “Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody“)and newbie Jayden Lee. In ten minutes of pure epic awesomeness, Ashlynn focuses her […]

  10. […] released “Superman XXX: A Porn Parody” in early 2011. It was okay. Later that year he helmed “Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody” and, yeah, with talented Xander Corvus in the lead, it proved pretty damn good time, and even […]

  11. […] a condom revolt right there in front of her counter. Look for Peter O Tool (2011′s “Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody“), Rusty Nails, Simon Says, Orangina and Pockets in the lot of rabble-rousers  Ralph Long […]

  12. […] should note that this is an origins movie, and the events transpiring in this film (as well as “Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody”, for those who are paying attention) are laying down the foundation for “Avengers XXX: A Porn […]

  13. […] Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow, played by again by Brooklynn Lee (she also played Black Widow in “Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody” and “Avengers XXX: A Porn Parody”), arriving to stop Tony from creating an international […]

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Images

spidermanxxxparodydvdfront
Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody Title
Dick Delaware in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Rob Black in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Tyler Knight and Sarah Shevon in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Ash Hollywood, Seth Dickens, Lily La Beau, Michael Vegas and Xander Corvus in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus and Michael Vegas in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Blyth Hess in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Capri Anderson in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Dick Delaware and Tara Lynn Foxx in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Dick Delaware and Tara Lynn Foxx in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus and Capri Anderson in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus and Capri Anderson in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus and Tyler Knight in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Ash Hollywood, Seth Dickens, Xander Corvus and Capri Anderson in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Seth Dickens, Ash Hollywood and Capri Anderson in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Dick Delaware in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus and Dick Delaware in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Dick Delaware in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus and Brooklyn Lee in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Brooklyn Lee in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus and Brooklyn Lee in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Brooklyn Lee and Xander Corvus in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus and Brooklyn Lee in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Brooklyn Lee and Xander Corvus in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Peter O'Tool in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody
Xander Corvus and James Bartholet in Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody

Videos

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Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody Trailer
It’s the porn superhero event of the year! From Adult powerhouse Vivid Entertainment and Axel Braun, the Award-winning director of BATMAN XXX and SUPERMAN XXX, comes a new hi-budget, geek-gasmic, sexy spoof that will once again raise the bar for X-rated parodies. Featuring an all-star cast led by Xander...
Posted by 04 Sep 2011 | Full Video Post »