“Adventures in Babysitting” takes an old, tired premise and livens it up with a simple connecting element (or device) not unlike what Richard Linklater did in his film Slacker. Over the span of a single afternoon, five young ladies, all babysitters, endeavour to get laid. In each instance, prior to cotitus, the friends text each other for advice, to lay out their next move or offer their support. The text splashes across the screen in rapid spurts, sometimes two or three different characters writing all at the same time, so it’s hard to keep up but you get the general gist. It’s not the first time a device (in this case a cellphone) has been used to connect various segments but it’s an example of it being done proper.

 

Emboldened by her various friend’s texts, Lily Carter attempts to seduce her professor, John Strong (2011′s “Revenge Cuckold“) in the first scene. She’s vying for extra credits and assumes that if she can get old prof (John Strong as a professor… Really?) into the sack, it’s a sure thing. John, head buried in his laptop, isn’t very receptive, not even when she takes to the stripper pole in his living room (why is there stripper pole in the living room of a college professor?). She eventually resorts to a more direct approach, smashing his laptop down and telling him point blank that she wants to fuck. Done! Despite the stretch marks around her tummy-sides, Lily is cute and sexy. She has long brown hair, no belly tone, shaved pussy, smallish tits and two star outlines between her navel and pussy. She’s loud and vulgar and he’s a robot. Not much by way of actual passion as they screw in mish, flying cowgirl, rc, doggy. He cums on her face and she clean him off.

 

In the film’s hottest scene, Teagan Summers (credits: Tegan Summers) receives a text from her friend, Dani Daniels, asking to come over. Before Summers can press send, it seems, Daniels arrives at her house. Apparently she’s on P.T. time (Porno Time) . Layng in bed, the two text each other while discussing how hot it is that Lily had just had sex with their professor. Teagan slinks down to one side of the bed and begins snapping pictures of her friend’s crotch (panty less and in Daisy Duke shorts). Dani is surprised and a little embarrassed. It’s playful and awkward and slow going, in much the same way a similar situation might unravel in a real life setting. Totally hot! Totally erotic! The two slowly undress and make out with each other. While I probably would have stuck some swanky John Further music in there, I genuinely loved the pacing of the scene and the way the two ladies seemed to feeling each other out (and bring each other off) with just their fingers and tongues and whole lot of nervous enthusiasm. Such a difference from the 100-mile-an-hour-dildo-ramming-hole yawn fests that comprise most lesbian porn these days.

 

While on the way to her next babysitting gig, Rylie Richman (2011′s “Carwash Orgy“) is too busy texting Teagan to notice that her boyfriend, Mark Zane (credits: Mark), is getting agitated. Upon arriving, she begins to sense that something is amiss when he flips her the cold shoulder. “Okay, what’s wrong?” she asks (I love her voice!). “I drove you all the way here and the whole time texting texting… and nothing.” Departing the vehicle she starts to feel bad. To make amends, she offers to screw him right there in front of her employer’s front door. Ballsy. Zane (2010′s “Creature Feature“) decides to play along. It’s a fairly quick bj-only session that ends with Rylie taking Zane’s semen spray across her tits just as her employer opens the door to greet her. Kiss that job goodbye.

 

Jessie Andrews is an idiot, something Derrick Pierce (2010′s “Teen Confessions“) realizes a little too late. Her habit of dumping his kid’s toys on his pool table has left him fuming and ready to fire her. Testing his patience even further, she adds yet another item to the pile of scattered shit on his sacred game table – herself. She crawls across it and begins undoing his pants. She’s young. She’s hot. He goes with it. Spirited sex from the pair here, something I wasn’t expecting given Pierce’s hit or miss track record. Jessie, a pale skinned brunette with an okay body who might not be the best looking porn girl, but she has a kind of natural everyday sexiness about her not unlike that cute girl you might run into working as a cashier down at the local grocery store. We all know that girl and, yes, we all wanna fuck that girl. Jessie is that girl and Derrick fucks her. The pool table and a small chair are used as the pair run through a four positioned screw that ends with Pierce orgasming across Jessie’s face and into her mouth. With her eye-liner running down her cheeks, Jessie cleans Pierce off.

 

All the friends chime in via text as Allie Haze (2010′s “Babysitter Diaries 4“) lays out to them her devilish plan to get her boss (Alec Knight) into the sack. It seems she’s nude in Knight’s backyard and has left a trail of breadcrumbs… er… clothes for him to follow when he returns home from work. Her plan works like a charm and Knight (2011′s “Incredible Hulk: A XXX Parody“) is completely befuddled by the sight of his naked teen babysitter, as anyone would be. I’m assuming Knight is divorced as he has no reservations about taking the youngster up on her offer of sex. Right there in the backyard, shaded by an over-sized tree, the pair run through four positions (mish, spoon, cowgirl and doggy) ending with Knight blasting a long distance load across Allie’s back and left butt cheek.

No condoms

Date of Production: 04/26/2011. Release Date: 7/25/2011

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