Body-builder Chyna first came into the public’s consciousness playing a bodyguard for the World Wrestling Federation or WWF (now, the WWE) back in the mid 1990s. She was part of Degeneration X, a sort of bad boy posse known for causing all kinds of havoc for WWF owner, Vince McMahon. Her unique look; bulky, muscular and mannish, helped her stand-out amongst the sea of blonde haired, blue eyed SoCal beach bunny types for which McMahon seemed to have a hard-on for. She earned a lot of money kicking ass. Sadly, her post-wrestling life has been, seemingly, on a non-stop downward slide. Her financial woes as well as addictions to cocaine and alcohol, culminated with a brief reality show stint on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. It was there, on that show, where audiences were treated to a glimpse into the woman known as Joanie Laurer aka Chyna and it wasn’t the least bit sexy or funny. Hidden under all the muscle and bravado was a soft-spoken, deeply insecure woman desperate for love — something she had longed for since being abandoned by her mother as a child. Also on display was the way she allowed herself to be manipulated and exploited by her then boyfriend, ex-wrestler turned sludge-pile, Sean “X-Pac” Waltman – the man responsible for her two laughably bad sex tapes.
Now, years later, Chyna, some 40,000 in debt, was offered a truck load of cash by Vivid to appear in her first ever for-real adult movie and, for obvious reasons, she accepted. Thankfully, despite the exploitative nature of how the deal unfolded, the film itself is handled with a great deal of professionalism. Chyna is a fascinating woman and Vivid seems to understand this, pouring a great deal of time, energy and cash into this, her first project with them. The crew and some of her co-stars treat with her with a measure of respect and adoration not seen in any of her previous sex tape turns. She looks ravishing throughout and there’s a tinge of naughtiness at seeing her pushing herself sexually on camera. Her interview segments, between each scene, reveal her as both tender and attentive — a very refined, conventional woman living an unconventional life. There’s no topic off-limits, as she delves into everything from the wrestling industry to her private sex life (Triple H doesn’t like anal sex) to her amateur-X tapes to her book to her turn on The Surreal Life. She also admits that she wishes she hadn’t appeared on Celebrity Rehab. “It wasn’t beneficial to me, no.” In a hilarious bit, she demonstrates a wrestling move on a crew member, which, I’m guessing, totally made his day seeing that she’s semi-naked.
To open the film, she preens for the camera, showing off her magnificent build and huge breasts. Next, she lays back and proceeds to masturbate. She isn’t the least bit shy either, letting the camera get within inches of her as she rubs it out on a small couch. She appears nervous, which adds an extra dimension of rawness to the whole thing.
There’s an interesting dynamic at work in the second scene in that Chyna, despite her two “sex tapes”, really is rather conservative, sexually, almost to the point of being, dare I say, repressed. She admits to only having had a couple of boyfriends in her life (“long term relationships”) and absolutely no experience with females. None. Nadda. By contrast, the two women she’s paired up with, Diana Prince and Dylan Ryder (2010’s “Janine and Jessica’s Dirty Desires“), have appeared in nearly two hundred films between them and both have slept with hundreds of people, men and women. When the two gals, both svelt-looking compared to Chyna’s bulky butch, pile on, Chyna looks more than slightly overwhelmed. She seems to be playing keep up with these experienced ladies of the night, and having a great time doing in. Ryder is the first to wedge herself in between her legs and, like a kitten, slowly laps at Chyna’s clit as if she were diving into a bowl of milk. The expression on Chyna’s face is a mix of bewilderment and bliss. It’s as if she’s coming to terms with the wrongness of having another girl licking her but at the same time embracing said wrongness as if it were the most empowering thing in the world. “I want you so bad,” Prince tells Chyna whose heavy breathing and awkward finger work give way to the films’s hottest moment, Chyna munching her first ever box on-camera. Skow keeps the cut-aways to a minimum letting this first ever cunt-lapping play out almost in realtime. There’s some toy play but it’s not nearly as hot as the actual tongue on clit contact. Never is. “It was so sensual and hot and it felt good. Just experience two different bodies… three different bodies,” a sweat-drenched Chyna tells Skow afterwards.
Next, Chyna is paired up with one of the porn industry’s most muscular leading men in Lee Stone (2003’s “WTIT In Boobsville“). He’s a hulking brute who has no problem man-handling Chyna’s equally bulky frame, flipping her upside down for some wild sixty-nine action. Watching these two genetically gifted human beings screwing will no doubt leave audiences feeling as though a renewed membership at their local gym is in order. Personally I rather enjoyed the scene, as Stone does his best to guide her through the scene. Sensing her nervousness, Stone is forever chiding her to enjoy the moment. “Let it go!” he tells her over and over. They screw in a handful of positions (mish, cowgirl, rc, doggy) and she, drenched in sweat, is rewarded with a face and mouthful of semen. She cleans him off. Even during the facial, she seems unsure of what to do, which endeared her to me even more. Great great scene! Stone earned a great deal of respect outta me, here. His treatment of her, under the circumstances, was nothing short of gentlemanly.
Chyna, in a leopard skinned outfit, masturbates awaiting the arrival of Evan Stone (2011’s “Justice League of Pornstar Heroes“). I love Evan Stone but watching him have sex always leaves me in the cold. Evan seems to approach the scene with a little more playful intensity than Lee, and Chyna responds accordingly. She appears much more relaxed here, and delivers a lot more eye contact and even a few laughs. Stone tits fucks her briefly before tossing her a stop-start screw in a handful of positions. She stops briefly to deep throat his cock before getting deep-dicked in side-saddle. If anyone in the film had a chance at ass-fucking Chyna, it was obviously Evan. “Fuck!” Chyna whispers as he slips it up her hind end in a handful of positions. A brief halting of the action so that Chyna can suck Evan’s cock straight out of her ass seems to leave her feeling thoroughly degraded and the heat cools a bit as she appears anxious to get the scene over with. Doesn’t help that Evan is starting to act like a goofball, wrapping his legs around her neck at one point. She isn’t impressed. Evan, stick to being a pornstar, moron, leave the wrestling to the professionals. He launches an adequate amount of cum at her head, but his aim is off and he ends up nailing the couch behind her head. Unlike Lee, she doesn’t bother to clean him off.
In the next scene, Chyna and Dayna Vendetta double team Billy Glyde (credits: Billy Glide) in a weight room. For me, Billy Glyde (1997’s “Tight Ass“) will always be that guy who had a drug-induced freak out during one of those Gangbang Girl shoots a few years ago, so this scene is tainted by his appearance in it. On the other hand, the lighting is perfect here, capturing Chyna as she rides him on a bench. Dayna, a chunky blonde with huge knockers, appears out of place here. She seems completely disinterested in Chyna, who has to keep putting the moves on her. It eventually gets to the point where the girls remain separate as they screw Glyde. I can only imagine what a real woman like Sharon Mitchell or Nina Hartley would do to Chyna if they had been cast in this threeway instead of Dayna. Skow, get your head out of your ass. Glyde shoots off across Dayna’s tits and Chyna’s mouth. She cleans him off and Dayna, reluctantly, helps out.
In the last scene, Chyna gets double teamed by Mick Blue (2010’s “Cum Fart Cocktails 8“) and Jerry (2009’s “Team Squirt 11“). Mick Blue and Jerry are very robotic in their sexings, typically, but here they actually deliver a heated screw to the former wrestler. I guess they sensed her nervousness and decided to go easy on her. It makes the scene crackle to life. She doubles up on their cocks, followed by having her pussy and mouth switched off at a leisurely, almost fun, pace. Jerry seems to deliver a spontaneous orgasm while screwing Chyna in missionary, all over her legs and crotch, followed by Blue who squirts across her face and into her open mouth. It’s a lot of semen. She cleans him off. Much better scene than I expected.
In closing she admits that Lee Stone was her favourite scene. “It’s not very often I’m with someone who can throw me around like that,” she admits. Surprisingly enjoyable porn and probably one of the better celebrity sex tapes I’ve seen. It’s not very often Vivid impresses me, but this time out, they get it right across the board.
Date of Production: 11/05/2010. Release Date: 7/1/2011