“Rainwoman 4″ actually manages to be a fairly decent entry in what turned out to be one Coast to Coast Video’s longest running series. Lois Ayres (1987′s “Prince of Beverly Hills“), looking sexier than ever here in her second-go-round in the business, plays match-maker to a trio of magazine writers (Wallice, Boy and North).

 

The series, originally designed as a vehicle for squirt queen, Fallon, manages to wrangle up only one scene for the moody brunette and it’s tenuous at best. Fallon was on her way out of the business at the time, and her scene here captures perfectly her waning interest in the business and, apparently, anything sexual. She would star in only one more Rainwoman title before thumbing a ride outta town. She would return, briefly, but by then the industry had discovered that any woman could squirt, given the right amount of liquid consumed.

 

The story seems to be geared towards couples and women, and features Marc Wallice (1988′s “Ginger Lynn Non-stop“), T.T. Boy (1992′s “Neutron Man“) and Peter North (1986′s “Rocky Porno Video Show“) as three writers, desperate to uncover the truth behind What turns a woman on. Um, money? Circulation at their magazine has been down so they are looking for something, anything, to increase sales. North’s girlfriend, Lois Ayres, a fitness instructor, agrees to help out by playing a sort-of match-maker. Ayres is one of those cliched, annoying-as-fuck background characters in movies, who generally has everything figured out before everyone else. Think Rosie O’Donnell in “Beautiful Girls”, Joy Behar in “Hall Pass”, anything Dennis Miller has appeared in the past ten years, etc. You know what I’m talking about.  Unlike them, however, Lois is actually likeable. She senses the futility of their quest and decides to use it as an opportunity to arrange dates interviews between a girl in her fitness class and the writer she feels perfectly suits them. Sex happens. Love also happens. It’s cute.

 

In between all the romance and sex stuff, the film seems to be building towards the introduction of Fallon or, “that girl that can squirt” as she’s touted by Ayres and others. Apparently she’s the only one able to truly answer the all-important question of what turns a girl on. Her arrival and her “squirt” (more like, barely a dribble) is a major disappointment and could have been dropped entirely from the film. Trivia buffs, take note: “Rainwoman 4″ was shot entirely on that Avocado farm that was used in so many productions in the late 80s and early 90s.

 

The first interview features a shy T.T. Boy chatting up tattooed, redhead, Patricia Kennedy (1991′s “Making Tracks“), also playing shy, about what turns a woman on. Her 40 cent words are lost on cro-magnon, who moves her to the back of her pick-up truck for some hard-pounding sex (mish, cowgirl) ending with him pulling out and creaming her face and mouth. She cleans him off. Afterwards, Kennedy professes her fondness for Boy. In a parting call to North, we learn that Boy has called off the interview and he and Kennedy have headed off to the Caribbean to celebrate their new-found love.

 

In the next scene, Peter North decides to interview his girlfriend about what turns women on. Ayres is looking supremely trashy here, with messy hair, smoking a cigarette, wearing high cut daisy dukes and no underwear (even Wallice can’t resist commenting: “Look at that ass,” he says as she walks away from the camera in the opening scene); a too-small halter top (no bra) that barely contains her tits which are falling out. Topping it off are her knee high leather stiletto hooker boots which she never removes. She’s such a woman! A real woman! She laughs at North’s question, choosing instead to roll around with him on a blanket outside in the front yard of their house. They are having fun, laughing and screwing in a trio of positions. Apparently cum turns a woman on, because Ayres seems desperate to see what North’s looks like. He delivers. Boy, does he ever! Pulling free in doggy, he launches a seven-rope blast across the entire length of her back  including on that perfect ass. It’s a lot of cum.

 

Marc Wallice rushes off to meet with Bobbie Lee. Lee has short blonde hair, is plain-looking with huge, real boobs. She’s a slut and he’s a slut, so very little real interviewing happens as Wallice gets to work sucking on Lee’s knockers and screwing her in a couple of positions on a table. She jerks him off to a geyser which she promptly ducks out of the way of.

 

The next ho-hum scene features Fallon (1985′s “Let Me Tell Ya Bout Black Chicks“) taking on blonde Nikki Wilde (1991′s “Anal Intruder 5“) on a tractor as North and Wallice observe from afar. During the interview, “Rainwoman” Fallon lets Wallice and North know that nothing a man will do will ever turn her on. It seems she’s gay and she expresses this by taking on her girlfriend, Nikki Wilde, in a mostly boring tussle. Lots of ass slapping and Fallon (lots of acne) putting on a strap-on and ass-fucking Wilde with it. At North and Wallice’s urging, Fallon launches her fuck juice all over the tractor. Yawn.

 

In the most obvious explanation ever, Lois lays it out for North and Wallice: “Every woman is different and all require different things to turn them on.” Duh! She failed to mention the money part but I’ll let that slide. They proceed to screw in what is easily the film’s hottest scene. Ayres is North’s girlfriend remember, so Wallice is only allowed a cock-sucking and tit fucking as North does all the actual screwing. Ayres dirty talks throughout, stopping briefly to let North and Wallice launch criss-crossing cum-shots across her face and into her open mouth. It gets messy! She cleans them off.

No condoms.

No production dates given.

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