Derrick Pierce is the host of some sort of weird reality show in which women dressed in a bikini and goggles (hot! NOT!) demolish a contestant’s property. Afterwards, the contestants, who don’t know they’re contestants, are allowed to pick one of the bikini clad women and have sex with them as payback. A camera rolls on the whole thing, of course. What the hell? This is possibly the lamest set-up for a porno ever! E-V-E-R! Do guys really get turned on watching bikini clad women breaking shit? Seriously? Does that do it for somebody, really? This ranks up there with naked girls shooting guns as one of those eccentric sexual fetishes I just can’t understand. On the other hand, this brings to mind an old Viva La Bam episode which brought to mind Ryan Dunn and for a minute I smiled. RIP, Ryan, you crazy bastard!

 

Back to the muck, the women here, including the main “stars” as well as Julia Crowne, TJ, Carolyn Reese (2010′s “This Isn’t Christmas Vacation: The XXX Parody“), Tammie Lee, Brooke Banner, Layla Rivera (Max’s girlfriend, last seen around here in “Universal Max 3“), and Karena (in nonsex roles) all look good and they scream just right as they swing their hockey sticks and sledge-hammers at anything in their immediate vicinity, but it’s all so hopelessly stupid and juvenile that I couldn’t wait for it to end. Sadly, the sex isn’t much better. Fake for the camera, I could practically hear the director saying.

 

In the only funny bit, Will Powers (2009′s “Cock Addicts“) signs over his car to Derrick Pierce (2011′s “Official Jerry Springer Parody“)  thinking it’s some sort of Pimp My Ride reality show. He soon discovers that, well, it’s not. Six gals clad in bikinis and goggles completely lay waste to his vehicle with sledgehammers and bats. It’s stupid, but Powers’ astonished reaction is priceless. Christ, it’s uber-priceless. This is the only time in the movie that the set-up half-ass works, so bask in it.

 

Will Powers chooses to screw Shawna Lenee (credits: Shawna Lee) on a small couch surrounded by graffiti-covered walls. Powers, who looks appropriately stunned throughout, lasts only three positions before dribbling a load across Shawna’s ass.

 

In the same car shop, with Shawna and Will screwing only a few feet away, host Derrick Pierce takes on Kortney Kane and Mallory Rae Murphy (2010′s ”Slut Worthy“) in a threeway. Both girls get pounded good, with Mallory stopping briefly to tell Kortney to spit in her mouth. Pierce pounds Kane a little too intensely and seems to screw up, pulling out to stave off the orgasm, but it’s too late and he ends up sending a load directly into Murphy’s mouth who has gone in for the usual pussy-to-mouth stuff. She’s a pro, though, and it ends up looking seamless. The two girls swap his cum, letting globs off it land on Pierce’s chest. He doesn’t appear to be impressed with that turn of events. No worries, they shoop it up. Gross.

 

Shades of Kubrick’s “Clockwork Orange” here as a foursome of bikini clad man-haters destroy the home of two bored slackers, Danny Wylde (2010′s “Bree’s Beach Party 3“) and Chris Johnson. The operatic music bellows, the women scream their war cries and the footage is slowed down to capture it in all of its anarchistic, moronic glory. I actually felt bad for the guys here.

 

McKenzie Lee  (2010′s “Pandora’s XXX Toy Box“) and Jessica Jaymes re-enter, and Lee smashes Wylde’s prescription glasses. Total fem-dom stuff, here. In amongst the rubble, Wylde screws Lee despite her belly scars, fucked-up inflated boobs and horrible dentition. The only thing running in Lee’s favour is that she’s English, which is always a plus in my book. About nine hours after they started, Wylde squirts off across her tits. She licks the head.

 

On the other couch, Chris Johnson (2010′s “Kayden’s College Tails“) screws the other “home-wrecker”, Jessica Jaymes (credits: Jessica James) who is at least a step-up in the looks department. She still has the inflated tits but she looks yummy. Johnson pounds her shaved pussy in a bunch of positions ending with an open mouth facial for Jaymes (2010′s “Janine and Jessica’s Dirty Desires“). She cleans him off.

 

In the final segment, Denis Marti runs a fruit stand. Looking like one of those old Gallagher stage shows, four bikini warrior-women arrive to demolish Marti’s fruits with sledge-hammers. Where’s the plastic sheeting when you need it?. Oh, and how did Capri Cavalli, the only Canadian in the movie, not end up with the frickin’ hockey stick? Hello, McFly! Are these guys even trying.

 

After the stupidity subsides, two of the four, Capri Cavalli (credits: Capri Cavelli) and Carla Cox, return to let Denis Marti screw them. Capri (2010′s “Pandora’s XXX Toy Box“)  is a cute brunette, from Vancouver, while Carla (also last seen around here in “Pandora’s XXX Toy Box“), is a gorgeous blonde Czech. They have a fairly fun little threeway tussle with Marti, who should probably hit the gym, giving them all he can muster. Capri is forever breaking character, which I loved. She isn’t much into girls, and plays a fun little game of turn my head just at the right second. She eventually gets in there eating a little Czech before sitting back to watch Marti anal Cox. He sprays his load across their faces.

No condoms.

No production dates given. Release date: 01/23/2011

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