Also Known As: Justice League Of Pornstar Heroes: An Extreme Comixxx Parody
Pillaging the DC Comics universe for characters to pornify, Exquisite Multimedia, through their start-up Extreme Comixxx, seemed to be out to exploit the public’s interest in super hero porn parodies in a big way. While I still look to Elegant Angel’s “Pornstar Superheroes” as an example of the best the super hero porn parody sub-genre has to offer, this one holds up quite well, if only because it’s obvious that the guy making it, Sinister X (Rob Black), actually gives a shit.
There’s some decent special effects, nicely choreographed fight sequences and even some fine animation to keep the super geek and casual viewer alike, spellbound. Sadly, the acting is all over the place. Evan Stone, Ron Jeremy (1980′s “California Taboo“), Roxanne Hall and Tom Byron (1987′s “Prince of Beverly Hills“) bring the goods, while Barry Scott, Scott Lyons and Talon (2006′s “Don’t Pull Out 3“) remind us that, yeah, this is a porno isn’t it? Talon, who seems to deliver his lines in staccato, should never be called on to act in anything ever again… ever… again… ever. The costumes, all adorned with X, look great. The sex is all pro, and mostly stilted (my guess is the bulky, cumbersome costumes have a lot to do with that) but occasionally it’s hot. Talon throws a jack-hammer at Amber Rayne (2006′s “Confessions of A Teenage Anal Queen“) who seems to genuinely love it and Roxanne Hall (2010′s “My Daughter’s Boyfriend 3“) is sassy-sexy as Catwoman. Roxanne drips sex.
Opening at the Hall of Justice, Justice Leaguers, Batman (Evan Stone), Robin (Scott Lyons), Superman (Rocco Reed), The Green Lantern (Talon), The Flash (Barry Scott), Wonder Woman (Chanel Preston) and Aquaman (Bill Bailey) are mulling over news that a weather bomb has been planted somewhere in Porntropolis. To ascertain the whereabouts of the device, they determine that all the usual suspects are going to have to be interrogated. With that, they race off to confront their various foes, while Aquaman fish-tails it back to Atlantis, for some reason or another. Batman thinks it curious, grumbling, “Every time there’s a world class emergency, you have to save Atlantis.”
In between the various “interrogations”, something else is brewing, namely The Penguin (Ron Jeremy, perfectly cast) announcing his candidacy for president. In this brief throwaway segment, Sinister X brilliantly lays the foundation for the sequel. Fantastic. See Dion Giarusso, that’s an example of somebody giving a shit.
The first suspect to be interrogated is Catwoman (Roxanne Hall, looking exquisite in a sexy leather outfit), who Batman (Stone) and Robin (Lyons, looking greasier than usual) find hanging around inside an old warehouse. The feisty kitty is feeling horny and agrees to help them out if they throw a little dynamic duo loving her way. Meow! It’s no problem for our sexually (un)ambiguous pair, who trade off her pussy, mouth and ass, culminating with a cute double penetration sequence in which Hall actually fucks back. Stone (2011′s “ This Ain’t Ghostbusters XXX“) and Lyons (2003′s “Kelly The Coed 15“) stroke off across her face and into her open mouth. She thanks them by blowing sleeping powder (or something?) into their face.
Across town, evil magician, Katana (Kristina Rose), has her way with Superman (Reed) thanks to some Kryptonite in front of an audience of blow-up dolls. Even in his weakened state, Superman still manages to toss Rose (2011′s “Official Jerry Springer Parody“) a loooonnnnng, multi-positioned screw. Reed (2010′s “Kayden’s College Tails“) spurts across her face and into her mouth. She cleans him off. Sadly, she provides little clues regarding the location of the bomb but at least the caped-one got his nut.
Presiding at a spacious greenhouse, Poison Ivy (Shyla Stylez) and Lex Luthor (Tom Byron) lay out their plans for destroying the Justice League of Pornstar Heroes and turning it into the Legion of Doom. Less boisterous and more quiet-cunning, Byron is perfectly cast as Luthor. Much better than Masterson’s turn in the role in “Superman XXX: A Porn Parody“. Shyla (in a red wig), on the other hand, couldn’t act her way out of a greenhouse. Thankfully she’s not called on to do much of it as Byron’s legendary knob needs attending. She throws some toxicodendron-loving his way via mouth on stem. After awhile, it eventually erupts across her face and mouth. She cleans him up.
Down at the General’s Private office, The Flash (Scott) lays waste to a trio of goons. Excellent merging of choreographed fighting and FX here. When the smoke clears, Mob boss Andy San Dimas (looking even more scrumptious than usual), is able to convince Scott that she’s merely a courier. Flash decides to throw her a screw because, you know… just because. It’s typical hard-pounding pro-sex, with flashes (no pun) of heat. Scott is forever stopping, for fear he’ll prematurely ejaculate. San Dimas (2011′s ”Simpsons: The XXX Parody“) looks pre-occupied. After awhile you get the sense that these two human beings don’t like each other very much. He squirts on her face and into her open mouth and she cleans him off.
Flying around in her invisible jet, Wonder Women (Chanel Preston) eventually finds The General (Tommy Gunn) who is mere seconds away from making a hasty retreat. How cliche of him. A nicely choreographed knife-bracelet fight between Gunn (2009′s “Cougar Cruisin‘“) and Preston ends with the pair screwing because… again, just because. More pro sex here, and Preston gets her facial. She dutifully cleans Gunn’s gun off. Unlike everyone else, thus far, he’s able to provide Ms. Woman with the clues to the location of the bomb.
Arriving not a moment too soon, Amber Rayne, flexible as ever, flips onto the set (a carnival-type deal with straw lining the floor), doing the splits (hot!) and dancing around. Apparently she got her fix that day. Having earlier freed Batman and Robin, Green Lantern (Talon) stuck around to see who was checking in on them and, to his lack of surprise, it was none other than Harley Quinn, his arch nemesis. They do battle, concluding with the two engaging each other in the film’s hottest screw. Talon might be an epic dolt, but he brings a workman-like approach to his sexing. He’s quiet, focused and he gets the job done. By contrast, Rayne is loopy-crazy, always bringing a hyper-caffeinated, manic energy to every tussle she’s in. Like a filthy-mouthed, jackrabbit - on speed. Every once in awhile, she starts in with the tourette’s… talking really really loud and really really fast as if somebody was fast-forwarding and stopping a tape recorder. Hilarious. Again, I love her energy. Nothing comes close to this scene in the heat department. She dives in for the facial, and then sucks him clean. I’m curious to see if these two characters become romantically involved in a future volume. I mean, it’s there already somebody just has to flesh it out. Sadly, I’m guessing Talon wouldn’t be able to pull it off. Xander Corvus, where are you? Oh yeah, you’re busy making that “Spider-Man XXX: A Porn Parody” thing.
With the bomb located, our assembled heroes decide to deal with it by… wait for it, detonating it where it sits. Huh? Isn’t that sort of what they were trying to avoid? Christ, it’s barely even a controlled detonation. Let me see my options: Superman can fly it to the moon, The Flash can zip off to either Pole and, last but not least, The Green Lantern can hurtle it directly into the heart of the Sun. Nope. We’ll go with the plan that involves making happen that thing that we were desperately trying to not let happen. Shakes head. That out of the way, Chanel Preston (20011′s “Official Halloween Parody“) decides to reward Scott, Stone, Lyons and Talon by letting them gang-fuck her. She really is Wonder Woman. Hot, nasty super hero gang bang sexing. All tights and colors, I sit dazzled, Not something you see everyday. Preston throws herself into her work, wildly sucking and fucking (vag-only) every cock in the room and eventually making them rain down their genetic goop down on her face. She cleans them off.
In a parting shot, that goes further to establish the plot of the sequel, Luthor informs them that the weather bomb was merely a decoy and they have but minutes left before the real one detonates. In a sombre moment, the Super-Friends bid farewell to each other. Wow! Way to keep it dark, Sinister. Epic! Bring on the sequel! And then after that how about a “Justice League of Pornstar Heroes versus Pornstar Superheroes” movie? I mean, seriously, DC and Marvel crossed over n’ stuff, I’m sure you cats can make it happen.
DVD extras include no bonus scenes but a ton of BTS footage.
Date of Production: 02/01/2011. Release Date: 04/04/2011.