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Official Halloween Parody

Year: 2011
Runtime: 116
Distributor: Zero Tolerance
Studio: Zero Tolerance
Our Score

Re-traces almost perfectly the structure and tone of the original John Carpenter classic, down to the musical score and staging of the various kills, “Official Halloween Parody” throws down the gauntlet as one of the better slasher film porn parodies ever produced. Gary Orona (2010′s “Official Friday the 13th Parody“) and wife Tabitha Stevens, the creative duo behind a number of other horror parodies, continue to impress with each new title. They seem to know exactly what their audiences want – hot sex and a storyline that stays true to its source material -  and they deliver.

 

James Bartholet hams it up in the Loomis role of which Donald Pleasence could never live down. His tongue is planted firmly in his cheek as he delivers lines typically beginning and ending with the world “Evil” and even during a rare on-screen sex scene with actress Karina O’Reilley. Had Bartholet not been cast, I wonder how much darker the film’s tone might have been. It’s porn, so I guess it’s for the best.

 

It’s Halloween night in Haddonfield, Illinois. The film opens with a veritable shot-for-shot recreation of the original, as a young Michael Myers returns home from trick or treating to spy his older sister, Lexi Swallow {blonde, gorgeous, shaved pussy, nice medium-sized boobs}, hooking up with her boyfriend, Dane Cross (2011′s “Sex Driven“). He spots them through a window making out on the livingroom couch. As they scoot up to her bedroom, Mikey (ala POV shot) finds time to grab a mask and a butcher knife. He slowly scales the stairs, stopping and hovering just outside his sister’s bedroom door just as Lexi (2010′s “Not Charlie’s Angels XXX“) takes Cross’ genetic goop across her face. As Dane departs, Lexi continues to rub one out, barely stopping even when Michael has entered. “I know you watch me,” she says. Out of frame, Michael proceeds to murder his sister.

 

Jumping forward fifteen years, we end up just days away from Halloween at the Bellevue Asylum. Michael, a patient, manages to wrangle a set of keys away from a nurse, Karina O’Reilley (credits: Carina Roman) who, along with James Bartholet (2009′s “Pubic Enemy“), is busy trying to subdue a wid-haired patient (Tabitha Stevens, in a nonsex cameo). Back in Haddonfield, a young real estate agent (Chanel Preston, in the Jamie Lee Curtis part) is asked to drop off some keys at the old abandoned Myers house. As she rushes up to the door and back to her car, she’s unaware that just behind said door, Michael lurks.

 

Back at the hospital, Bartholet sizes up the direness of the situation to nurse O’Reilley, who finds herself overcome with lust upon hearing that Michael was a chronic masturbator, like his deceased sister. She practically rapes Bartholet, pulling his pants down and sucking his dick. It doesn’t take long for Bartholet to deposit a load into her mouth and across her face. She cleans him off. Overcome with shame, he charges off, leaving Karina a sweaty, unsatisfied mess.

 

No worries, as Mark Wood (2011′s “My Teacher Touched Me“), an orderly, happens by. He spots sweaty, semi-dressed Karina and decides to interject himself into the situation. It’s a hot, frantic tussle on a cot with loud, rusty springs. Russian Karina has long brown hair, a tight body, shaved pussy, large design on her lower back and a navel piercing. She jabbers on in mostly incomprehensible dirty talk until Mark drops a sizable load across her face and into her open mouth.

 

Moving the plot into the second act, Chanel Preston (2010′s “This Ain’t Avatar XXX“) chats with her two pals, Lexi Belle and Dana DeArmond (both smoking cigarettes) about a party that they are having later that night. DeArmond is desperate to get ass-fucked, while Lexi is sure that her boyfriend would be more than happy to help out. By accident Chanel lets it slip that she is a virgin, a revelation that seems to shock her two girl pals. They immediately attempt to arrange a guy for her. Chanel, staying true to her final girl roots, isn’t much interested, choosing instead to spend the night with King Arthur, the book.

 

Across town, Bartholet and the sheriff (Anthony Rosano – mocking a deep South accent) stake out the Myers home, in hopes that he’ll return. Rosano (2010′s “This Isn’t Christmas Vacation: The XXX Parody“) is convinced that Bartholet isn’t operating at full capacity, but agrees to indulge him by doubling up patrols around the area.

 

Later that night, Dana DeArmond (2007′s “Hellfire Sex 10“) finds herself being confronted in her home by a guy in an over-sized William Shatner mask. Despite the fact that her boyfriend is supposed to be working a double shift (punishment for looking at Asian porn on the company computer), she assumes that it’s him spying her behind the mask and decides to play along. She blindfolds herself with a handkerchief and joins him in the living room for a heated sexer that includes some hard-pounding anal sex. Mark Wood (in a dual role) offers up another energetic tussle and a second cumshot which is deposited across Dana’s face and into her open mouth. She cleans him off and he thanks her by killing her, off camera, of course.

 

Lexi Belle (2011′s “Superman XXX: A Porn Parody“) and her boyfriend, Kris Slater (2010′s “Pandora’s XXX Toy Box“), eventually arrive at Dana’s house. Thinking that she must be out, they decide to head up to her bedroom for a quick screw in her bed. Lexi looks delicious getting pounded in a handful of positions, that culminates with Slater pulling out of her in spoon and drenching her pubes with his semen. Rushing off to get some water, he comes face to face with Michael in the kitchen. We all know how that one ends, I’m sure. After dispatching Slater, Michael, draped in a sheet, proceeds to lay waste to Lexi via strangling. Khan Tusion would be proud.

 

Worried for her friends, who aren’t answering their telephone, Chanel heads next door. Michael is waiting for her in the darkness and dun dun dun the chase is on. Assessing that she’s being stalked by a masked-psycho with a butcher knife, Preston’s final girl instincts kick in, and she manages to outwit him long enough for Bartholet to arrive on the scene and save the day. With a volley of well-placed shots, he’s able to flatten Myers before he can flatten Chanel.

 

Afterwards, Bartholet can’t seem to convince a traumatized Chanel that she has nothing to fear; that Michael is gone and she can go take that shower she so desperately needs. It’s insinuated that she shat herself during the earlier melee. Sheriff Rosano agrees to stay behind and guard her while Bartholet rushes off to confront the E-V-I-L amongst us. Chanel, grasping that life is short and she should start living, offers to thank Rosano for his attentiveness by giving up her virginity to him. Huh? Enhanced boobs and a giant tattoo in the place where her pubic hair should be, and somehow I’m supposed to believe that Chanel is a virgin. Really? Okay, I’ll play along. Rosano (doing a fine job of maintaining that Southerny drawl) has no problem pampering her request. Chanel’s a filthy talker, and her multi-positioned screw with Rosano is borderline volcanic. It ends with another other open mouth facial. A much deserved one.

 

Shades of the latest Scream movie, which was in itself a re-imagining of Allen Plone’s obscure gem, “Night Screams”, a shocking pre-end credit sequence helps to establish the possible identity of the next film’s killer. Oh yes, there will be another.

No condoms.

No Production dates given. Release Date: 6/21/2011.

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Posted by JLB-Videotramp | 28 Jun 2011 | Reviews

8 Comments

  1. [...] that out of the way, Chanel Preston (20011′s “Official Halloween Parody“) decides to reward Scott, Stone, Lyons and Talon by letting them gang-fuck her. Hot, nasty [...]

  2. [...] unsuspecting pair of campers, Lexi Belle (2011′s “Official Halloween Parody“) and Gracie Glam (2010′s “Creature Feature“) are the first to encounter [...]

  3. XXX Avengers « VideoTramp
    21 Aug 2011, 2:20 pm

    [...] little bugger scales down the tree to safety. She then turns the gun on Cross (2011′s “Official Halloween Parody“), ordering him to screw her or have his attitude permanently adjusted. Huh? He decides the [...]

  4. [...] hour is far more erotic. Volcanic scene here as industry newbie Lexi Swallow (2011′s “Official Halloween Parody“) gets worked over by a horny-as-fuck Kimberly Kane, still buzzing from her earlier [...]

  5. [...] hour is far more erotic. Volcanic scene here as industry newbie Lexi Swallow (2011′s “Official Halloween Parody“) gets worked over by a horny-as-fuck Kimberly Kane, still buzzing from her earlier [...]

  6. [...] hour is far more erotic. Volcanic scene here as industry newbie Lexi Swallow (2011′s “Official Halloween Parody“) gets worked over by a horny-as-fuck Kimberly Kane, still buzzing from her earlier [...]

  7. [...] able to handle not getting any pussy for a week. No worries, as Lexi Swallow (2011′s “Official Halloween Parody“), Brooke’s friend, arrives looking to hang out. Notified that Brooke is out taking [...]

  8. [...] she goes basketball in hand. Of course, her lover is actually Dana DeArmond (2011′s “Official Halloween Parody“) and her reaction to Haze’s gift is both funny and sweet. They take turns licking and [...]

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Images

officialhalloweenparodydvdfront
Official Halloween Parody Title
Official Halloween Parody
Dane Cross and Lexi Swallow in Official Halloween Parody
Lexi Swallow in Official Halloween Parody
Lexi Swallow in Official Halloween Parody
 Karina O'Reilley and James Bartholet in Official Halloween Parody
Mark Wood, James Bartholet and Karina O'Reilley in Official Halloween Parody
James Bartholet and Karina O'Reilley in Official Halloween Parody
Mark Wood and Karina O'Reilley in Official Halloween Parody
Mark Wood and Karina O'Reilley in Official Halloween Parody
Official Halloween Parody
Dana DeArmond in Official Halloween Parody
Lexi Belle in Official Halloween Parody
Dana DeArmond in Official Halloween Parody
Dana DeArmond in Official Halloween Parody
James Bartholet and Anthony Rosano in Official Halloween Parody
James Batholet in Official Halloween Parody
Dana DeArmond in Official Halloween Parody
Mark Wood in Official Halloween Parody
Dana DeArmond and a masked Mark Wood in Official Halloween Parody
Kris Slater and Lexi Belle in Official Halloween Parody
Kris Slater and Lexi Belle in Official Halloween Parody
Lexi Belle in Official Halloween Parody
Official Halloween Parody
Chanel Preston in Official Halloween Parody
Mark Wood in Official Halloween Parody
James Barthloet in Official Halloween Parody
Chanel Preston and Anthony Rosano in Official Halloween Parody
Chanel Preston and Anthony Rosano in Official Halloween Parody
Chanel Preston in Official Halloween Parody
Official Halloween Parody