Also Known As: Simpsons: The XXX Parody – Marge and Homer’s Sex Tape

Another day another porn parody. This time it’s television’s longest-running animated comedy, The Simpsons, that gets pornified. Despite proclamations that it’s what the fans wanted, I have a sense that this might not be what the fans had in mind.

In an effort to make them appear more like the animated characters, the performers are literally drenched in a puke-green/yellow glow and fitted with bad, over-sized wigs. Overall, it’s distracting, especially in places where it shouldn’t be. In fact, almost nothing about this movie felt right, including the minimalist story which felt like it was drafted on the way to the set.

 

Only adding to the disjointed atmosphere was the Homer part which was played by two different actors. Anthony Rosano provides the erection and is never shown facially, while Josh Thomas provides the disembodied voice. I have to admit, Josh Thomas’ Homer-voice is so spot on that it’s almost uncanny. In both pitch and tone, it sounds almost exactly like Dan Castellaneta, so much so, that I’d be hard-pressed to tell the two apart. I have a sense that the catalyst for this project as a whole was due in some measure to Thomas’ ability to mimic Castellaneta so precisely. As Marge, Andy San Dimas does her best to maintain that raspy Marge-voice, all while playing a delicate balancing act with that giant blue Elsa Lanchester wig perched atop her head. She’s still a stunner, even in green and blue.

 

Doing some of his best work here is James Deen in the role of Moe. He gets the mannerisms just right. I’ve never been much of a fan of Deen but I have to give him his props this time out. A scene involving him attempting to seduce Cookie Kwan, played by Asia Zo, affords the film a moment of genuine sweetness, as he is forced to acknowledge that he is both ugly and lonely – and in the process, wins Cookie’s heart. Ah.

 

Andy San Dimas, in the make-up and the blue wig, preens and rubs herself in front of a bathroom mirror. In between taking shots at Lisa Ann and various other “celebrities”, Dimas tells us that she’s excited by Flander’s borrowed video camera. She moves over to a couch where she is filmed masturbating by Rosano, before he glides in for a quickie POV-blowjob. San Dimas’ wavering raspy voice and sloppy technique on the knob elevated in this two minute segment into something bordering on hot. God, I love hot raspy-voiced chicks!

 

While getting the blowjob from Marge, Homer becomes distracted by McBain, which is playing on the television. We, the audience, are suddenly transported inside the show as McBain (think a poor man’s Arnold Schwarzenegger), played by Evan Stone, does away with gun-toting goon in typical McBain fashion. Afterwards, he and his partner, Briana Blair, have a multi-positioned, uncomfortable-looking screw amongst a pile of boxes. Blair is blonde, cute, medium-sized real tits, no belly tone, numerous tattoos including stars on top of left shoulder/neck, a small heart on the front of her right shoulder, a butterfly on the small of her back and a red heart with small green flowers above/right of her pubes. She also has a navel piercing. After humping her in doggy-style, Stone busts off a load across her ass to end the scene.

 

Following the show, Homer has Marge do an impromptu strip tease for him, but is almost immediately interrupted by Flanders (Eddie Adams, in a nonsex cameo) who sticks his head in for a peep.  Homer sends him on his way, and things quickly ratchet up between him and Marge to the point where she’s flashing him her ass. That’s when, of course, Moe (James Deen) arrives looking to borrow the video camera. From there, the scene quickly shifts to Moe’s decrepit apartment where he awkwardly attempts to seduce real estate agent, Cookie Kwan (Asia Zo). As I noted, his plans don’t go as well as he’d hoped and before long, Cookie is calling him on his less than attractive looks, something that a dejected Moe reluctantly acknowledges. This moment of frankness seems to melt Cookie’s heart and before long the two are screwing like horny teenagers. It’s a good little scene, with both performers functioning with energy to spare. Beginning with a messy blowjob and segueing into a multi-positioned screw on a small chair. Asia is a Chinese cutie with shoulder length black hair, medium-sized real tits, big areolas, a shaved pussy and an okay body. Deen gets a little rough in a few spots, pushing and slapping Zo, who looks genuinely alarmed by his behaviour. Those little glances at the camera guy speak volumes. Deen pulls free of her in missionary and ejects a seven strand Peter North-like geyser that splashes down across Zo’s face.

 

Eventually we get back to Homer and Marge who finally get a chance to make that sex tape they’ve been planning since the beginning of the film. To kick-start the scene, San Dimas pretends to hump the camera, something that goes on way too long and feels rather silly considering that she’s merely thrusting the lens into her crotch over and over again. Thankfully, Dimas’ mish humping of Rosano in POV all but makes up for it. Since Rosano is holding the camera, Dimas is forced to do all the work and it’s absolutely delectable. She rocks, pivots and gyrates on Rosano’s rod like the Energizer Bunny on a speed hit. It’s frantic and intense, and everything a POV scene should be. The only downside is that Dimas’ focus on fucking actually causes her to lose that rasp she seemed so intent on maintaining early on. Ah. I forgive her. They move into doggy, cowgirl and reverse cowgirl, ending with Dimas sucking/stroking him off into her mouth and across her face. She cleans him up.

 

Marge begs Homer to destroy the tape, something he promises to do. An out-of-context opening shot reveals, however, that Homer actually traded the tape for a bag of donuts. I’m sure that’s how it went down with the Paris/Salomon video.

No condoms.

Production dates: 09/05/2010 and 09/16/2010.

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