What to say about this poorly edited, nonsensical, slice of second-rate erotic cinema. Hired by a grieving wife (Kane), a private eye, Tony Montana, investigates the attempted murder of Dan Steele, while across town an aspiring actress, Purple Passion, heads up her own investigation — searching for her missing high heel shoe. South Bay Hospital, where Steele is apparently laid up in a coma, works as the backdrop for Montana’s odd investigation. Yeah, I know I’m reaching. 

In reality, this is simply a collection of slightly connected scenes that atttempt to cross pollinate the over-used detective plot with the under-used hospital theme. None of it makes much sense. The sex, which could have been really great at times, faulters due to some precarious second rate looping and hackneyed editing. Like the production as a whole, the actresess are your typical lot of cheap and sleazy b-listers. Take note, a scene involving the late Savannah was inserted when Leisure Time Entertainment sought to re-release Bad Medicine in 1994. Dusty, a classy Canadian gal who came to prominence appearing in some sleazy anal videos, was summarily run out of the business not long after when it was learned she was HIV+. Seeing her here in a diminutive role really dates the the whole thing. 

Sex wise; Set in a hospital room, Suzanne St. Lorraine, a sexy big busted brunette who looked to be pushing thirty, stumbles into the room of patient (and real life hubby) Dan Steele, who is crashed out in a coma. Steele is a well built stud, and his near naked form sends a flustered and horny nurse Lorraine diving between his legs for a quick suck. “Oh, what the hell, I’ve always wanted to do this,” she says. I’m guessing this isn’t in the medical workers handbook, but Dan seems to enjoy it, coming out of his coma mid-slurp. “What are you doing,” he says, springing up. “I’m sucking your cock,” Lorraine growls back. The action soon gets underway as Suzanne quickly peels out of her nurse’s uniform. She elects to keep her white stockings, garter belt and red high heels on, and the nurses’ hat, of course, as she climbs up and begins riding Steele in cowgirl. She really seems to get into it, as Dan suckles her tits. “Cum,” Steele growls to Suzanne, who does indeed appear to ride out a good one. The scene is slowed down for posterity. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love those 70s-esque slow mo shots. They spin over for some doggy-style action, that ends with the not always reliable Steele actually delivering the creamy goods across Suzanne’s ass.

In another room, Savannah, the gorgeous blonde who became famous for dating celebrities like Slash and Paulie Shore, is beside herself with lust when patient Mickey Ray tells her where it hurts – his cock. “Is it feeling okay? Is it feeling better?” she says, jumping on Ray and sucking his member. She’s wearing a white nighty and white high heels with white socks, as Ray spins over to eat her out. Savannah seems to love it. Soon, she’s getting out of her clothes and Ray is wanting to take her temperature. He slides his cock inside her pussy in missionary. “Oh, you’re so warm in there,” he whispers. Ray is having problems — not wood problems — but rather pre-mature ejaculation problems. He pulls out and sits back on the bed, muttering how sensitive his cock is. Savannah really was a fucking hot little piece of ass back in the day, so it’s kind of easy to understand where Ray’s head was at. Savanah spins over for some doggy-style sex and Ray is finally able to get into that safe zone. They move into side saddle, with Savannah whispering, “Your dick feels so good in my pussy”. After some rimmng, Ray flips her over for some hot missionary sex that culminates in him blowing a load across her abs. “I’m cured. With nurses like you, who needs doctors?” Ray tells Savannah. Overall, a fun scene and a good insert. 

Out behind the hospital, in a dirty, grafitti-filled alley, a private investigator, Tony Montana, is getting his cock sucked by Carol Cummings in hopes of getting information, or something(?). Cummings is wearing over-sized Jackie O sunglasses, black high heels and a denim business suit/skirt thing. Her hair is frizzy and messy and she looks like a junkie needing a fix – her character (?). Montana dives in and eats her out against the alley wall. Carol is totally hot, squatting down and practically fucking Tony’s face. They move over to an abandoned raggedy couch, where Tony proceeds to mount her from behind for some hot doggy-style sex. Thanks to some horrible editing, we’re treated to a veritable chorus of “Are you happy?” from Tony. It’s quite interesting since he says it once, but the editor, D.B. Scott (1991’s “Jewel of the Orient”), loops it around five times to my utter annoyance. They move into missionary, with Montana just ramming it home. Carol has a smoking bod, and it is perfectly captured here as she holds onto her heels as Montana gives her the business. She also sounds great too, epsecially when she’s urging Montana to cum on her tits. He does, but it’s only a dribble. Afterwards, someone attempts to murder Tony, and he engages Carol in some weird discussion about being struck dead and cross-dressing, which, up to this point, fits nowhere into the context of this film.

A man, Valentino, sitting in a large office, (I’m assuming he’s some kind of agent or something?) calls the hospital to check in on his friend. Is he the suspect? Is there a suspect? Purple Passion, in a white skirt, sweater and a dark blue high heel, rushes in looking for her lost shoe. She searches under a large conference table, but has little luck. The agent elects to help, getting her to re-enact the sex they apparently had earlier. Maybe it will jog her memory. Porn logic folks, so don’t ask. Valentino has her lay back on the table and begins eating her out. Passion, a black actress who made her bones in the late eighties, snoozes her way through this passionless scene. Valentino, (not to be confused with the other more famous Valentino of over 1,000 titles), has blonde hair and looks like a thinner version of 80’s stud Jesse Eastern, topped off with a Wayne Summers’ moustache. After a quickie blowjob, Passion lays back for a hot, oddly filmed missionary fuck. Cinematographer George Knoop, doesn’t seem to know where to put the camera here as it bounces around a lot, showing everything but getting nothing. Valentino is an inspired fuck with a real gift for the Nascar gab, “Whoo, yeah, wow, ah, wow yeah.” Don’t know about you but I’m inspired to write a book about this dialect. Purple flips over for some doggy-style sex, and we get a really good shot of her nice booty. I guess that’s something. Eventually it’s time for the cum-shot, something Valentino achieves in the mish position. It’s a nice one, which launches across Passion’s tummy and pubes. 

Later, Tony Montana is sitting in a hospital café telling Kimberly Kane that he’s hot on the trail of those who put her husband in a coma. Across from them, Don Fernando, playing a doctor, is helping Purple Passion, who has hurt her ankle after running out of Valentino’s office in her one shoe. Montana has found her shoe and assumes it’s a clue, but eventually concludes that it’s nothing. Fernando, who just happens to be Dan Steele’s doctor, eagerly tells Kimberly Kane that her husband has come out of his coma and is sporting a “fabulous” erection.

Kane is overjoyed that her husband (and his cock) are doing well, so she opts to celebrate by fucking Montana right there in the hospital cafeteria. A customer, Dusty, sitting nearby, slinks over and joins in. Purple Passion and Fernando get so hot watching the three that before long they are going at it too. Passion uses a pair of chairs for stirrups as Fernando dives in and begins licking. Soon, he’s picking her up for a flying cowgirl fuck. They move over to a table for some missionary sex. “How’s your ankle?” Fernando asks. “What ankle?” Passion replies. Montana quickly finds himself on the receiving end of a double blow job from Dusty and Kane. Dusty, a cute blonde, with an over-sized nose, is wearing a black stockings and red heels. She bends over and lets Montana eat her out.

Kimberly Kane, a moderately attractive blonde, wearing a cumberbun and high heel ankle boots, is the first to take Tony in doggy-style bent over a table. He switches off to Dusty, pumping his cock into her pussy hard for a few strokes. The action crosses back and forth between the two. After fucking her in doggy-style, Fernando squirts a load across Passion’s booty. Across from them, Dusty frigs her clit wildly as Montana pounds. He hops off her and elects to use Dusty’s pussy to rub one out with. He sprays across her right butt cheek, to end the scene. The film ends abruptly and we come away having learned nothing about what Montana was doing.

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