Considering what a joy “Torrid Without A Cause” was, I guess it was a bit of a disappointment when I realized that Thomas and company weren’t really trying that hard the second time around. The is a rush job, pure and simple.

Tori Welles (1990′s “Miss Directed“), the star, has plumped up quite a bit in the year since the last film was produced and her attempts at hiding it prove futile, especially when it’s all hanging out during one particularly weird shower scene. Where the first film was smart and seemed to make a quiet humorous statement on obsessive behavior, materialism and the cult of celebrity; and the kind of negative impact it can have on a seemingly happy marriage. This one kind of piles on that, but arrives at nothing even remotely satisfying. Christ, even the comedy here is forced, something that can’t be said of Torrid 1.

Dragging down the film’s worth even farter is the fact that Paul Thomas (or somebody at Vivid) wanted to shoot the thing on film. While cinematographer, Jack Remy (1991′s “Juice Box“), does his usual superb job of framing the shots, sadly, the extra lighting necessary for shooting on film isn’t there and the end result is a grainy, hazy, ugly as hell 86 minute slice of porn-nausea.

In the last film Tori Dickinson (Tori Welles), an obsessed music fan, brought a long-thought-dead rockabilly icon named Sinbad (think Elvis) into her home, much to the chagrin of her lawyer husband, Morty Dickinson (“2002: A Sex Odyssey” star Tom Byron). Before being dragged off to jail for writing bad checks, Sinbad (“Beyond The Denver Dynasty” star Randy West), will turn Morty’s life upside down, invading his space, eating his food and even fucking his wife. Don’t worry too much for Morty, as he also seems incapable of keeping it in his pants. Thankfully, love won out and Tori and Morty were reunited in the film’s happy closer.

This time around we discover that Sinbad (West) has busted out of jail and is on the run. Courtesy Paul Thomas (1984′s “Breaking It“) in a voice cameo as the radio announcer, Tori and Byron hear the news while driving around some back country roads in their convertible. Tom immediately suspects that West is back, but Tori, who is simulating oral sex on Byron and flashing her tits at other vehicles, brushes it off as nonsense.

Later that night, while Byron is off playing cards with the guys (“Kascha And Friends” star Alan Boshard and an un-credited guy in cameos), Tori and her friend, Jennifer Stewart {tall, blonde, very pretty}, are dancing to their latest purchase – a brand new Sinbad album called Sinbad The Lost Record. Tom’s earlier suspicions prove true as West arrives at Tori’s house looking for a place to lay low. Even though she suspects he might be a conman, she senses that he’s so much bad, but just down on his luck, Tori, as she did in the first, welcomes him into her home again. And it isn’t long before Tori is kick starting a threeway between herself, West and Jennifer Stewart. Jen tries to leave but Randy insists she stay, prompting her to relax. She does, especially when Tori disrobes and West sticks his dick in her face. Tori’s fast finger work and warm tongue make mincemeat out of Jennifer who can’t hide how turned on she is. She’s seems to be tingling with delight. At one point, Jennifer even stops sucking off West in order to ride out her orgasm. West screws Tori first, for obvious reasons. Jennifer rubs her coochie on the edge of the couch, something I found to be incredibly sexy. West screws her warmed up hole next in doggy. To end it, Tori jerks West’s smallish cock off to an impressive load across Jennifer’s sexy tits. Afterwards, Tori hides Randy in the attic just as Byron returns home from work. Tori, still naked and sweaty from the threesome, plays dumb with Byron – who doesn’t suspect anything.

Tom is quick to get out of his monkey suit and climb into bed with Ms. Welles. She dutifully sucks his cock, before rolling onto top of Byron for a smoking hot sixty-nine session. West listens to them fucking, even adding some commentary. f course, Byron hears it and sits up to take notice. He eventually brushes it off, but it takes Tori out of the moment. She insists that it’s getting late and that they should get some sleep. Dagnabit, I was really hoping for a Tori Welles/Tom Byron rematch. Granted, nothing can (or probably ever will) touch their original “Torrid Without A Cause” coupling. I still consider it one of the hottest porn sex scenes ever.

The next day, Tori showers while Byron fidgets and futzes getting ready for work. After he leaves, West joins her and the two kiss and snuggle like a couple of long-time lovers. West even eats her a bit but just as they are getting into it, a pair of bumbling cops, Jerry Butler (1989′s “Diamond In The Rough“) and Alex Horn, arrive looking for West. Tori does her best to stall them while West runs and hides upstairs. It works, and they eventually leave.

Later that night, Tori hosts a barbeque for some friends. She’s a little pre-occupied, as evidenced by her wandering around with a plate of finger food. Her guests take note of her odd behaviour, but they are more interested in talking about Sinbad. The guests (none of which are credited) are a hodge-podge of then unknowns, including Jake Steed (1999′s “More Dirty Debutantes 97“), Joel Lawrence (2009′s “Cock Addicts“), Rayne (1990′s “Road Girls“), Lance Heywood, Heather Sinclair and at least one other long-haired dude that I couldn’t put a name to. Byron arrives late, and in fine fashion, he’s dressed in Sinbad’s jumpsuit. While all the guests seem to get a big laugh out of Byron’s theatrics, Tori becomes enraged and chases him off.

Arriving tonight downtown later that night, Byron, still dressed in the Sinbad costume, attracts the attention of a groupie/hooker (“Torrid Tales” star Bridget Monroe), as he chats on a nearby telephone. “I gotta have you,” she tells him, in no uncertain terms. He has no problem with that and takes her, in his car, to a back alley (really a soundstage), where the two screw up and down the backseat of his convertible. It looks terribly uncomfortable, and at times I actually felt bad for Mr. Byron. The things that man does to get his nuts off. Anyway, after some doggy and missionary sex, Monroe eases the cum out of Byron’s bullet cock by jerking the hell out it. It launches across her face and into her open mouth. She sucks him clean. These two have had hotter scenes, namely a nearly twenty minute marathon session in John T. Bone’s beautiful “Passionate Lips”.

Back at Tori’s, an appreciative West wants to prove that he’s Sinbad and arranges to do a concert in Tori’s backyard for all of his fans. She is ecstatic and offers to get the word out to the public. This sets up a dizzying trio of lengthy scenes which all are intercut. Considering that none of them are particularly interesting, the last half hour is mostly a boring and confusing affair.

As West showers up, an apparent pre-show ritual, mumble-mouth Alex Horn (for those trivia buffs, Alex is credited as Alex Schwartz in the credits and as Alex Wolf on the box), the cop, arrives with a search warrant. Jennifer Stewart (credits: Jennifer Noble) steps in and offers to takes him upstairs. That’s as far as they get as Stewart proceeds to seduce and screw him over a banister. He ends up the session by spraying a gusher across her butt. When Jerry Butler arrives five or so minutes later, he’s shocked to find his partner getting it on upstairs. “Don’t tell the Captain,” Butler barks. Thankfully, Tori Welles is on the scene to ease the tension. She’s barely dressed, a ruse to stall Butler from searching the rest of the house. She drags Butler away to a large room with a piano. Butler looks less than thrilled here but eventually he gives in, gets it up and gets on the piano for another uncomfortable looking screw. Butler, as usual, sounds like he’s having a heart attack as he attempts to missionary and cowgirl fuck chunky Welles, who does her best to keep things interesting. It’s not. They are not. He cums on her chest to end the encounter. At least Welles’ tits look exquisite.

Seemingly in a different area of the house, two groupies, Patricia Kennedy (1991′s “Making Tracks“) and Madison (1993′s “Anal Ecstasy Girls“), wander inside and upstairs where they find West taking his pre-show shower. It’s pretty silly why they are there, and all three of them seem to be making it up as they go. West has them undress and dance for him, but Maddy and Patty are being asses and it’s not even remotely sexy. They join Randy in the shower, doubling up on his well-worn cock. Soon each babe is taking a turn on West’s wet knob in various places around the tiny stall. Lots of kissing between these two gals, who appeared in a bunch of titles together in the early 90s, and were probably dating. Despite the shower steam, which obfuscates the action even more, there’s very little of anything hot about the threesome. Okay, I did kind of enjoy seeing Kennedy and Madison jerking off West’s cock off across their giggling faces.

West ultimately gets to play his poolside concert under the stars. Considering that he’s singing for an audience of about five people (and he’s not actually singing – there’s no music. No, really. There’s no music.) things feel kind of silly. When Butler and Horn arrive to arrest West, things take an even more bizarre turn, as West manages to sneak away into the night, leaving Byron, dressed in the Sinbad costume, to deal with the two Barney Fife-cops.  Byron accidentally finds himself being restrained by the two officers, who realize too late that they’ve been duped.

Yes, Sinbad got away. With the exception of Byron and Lawrence (who appeared here in a cameo), the remainder of the cast have all retired, so I don’t think there’ll be a “Torrid Without A Cause 3″. However, this is porn, so you never know.

No condoms.

No production dates given. Release Date: 1990.

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