There really isn’t a story to this one, not even a little one. The only thing I know is that Fallon (last seen around here in “Squirt Last Drop“) lives on a ranch and her sister is named Kathy. Also, Debi Diamond (last seen around here in “Vegas: Snake Eyes“) is some kind of boss or something. Oh ya, Cal Jammer can really chop wood like a pro. Laughable quote from the box; “the most rip roaring sex flick ever made…” Well, hardly! In reality, Squirt Em Cowgirl is a cheaply made and badly-edited film shot sometime in 1990 which features a cast comprised mostly of then real-life porn couples. Chaz Vincent and Dizzy Blond, Cal Jammer and Cameo, and Dan Cooper and Fallon, were all actually dating each other around the time this video was shot, so some of the sex is rather uninteresting, to say the least. The best encounters, not surprisingly, come from legend Debi Diamond. Her two scenes with a pumped up Cal Jammer, and a very wigged-out Fallon, are the most memorable of the tape.
Also, Squirt Em Cowgirl features not one but two really great Fallon squirts. The first squirt is incredible, and all but makes up for the lack-luster film. It happens when — following a torrid lesbian tussle — a very turned on Debi Diamond moves in to catch Fallon’s eruption across her face. Ms. Diamond has never looked so good, drenched in another woman’s fuckjuice.
Chaz Vincent and Todd Alexander (credits: Dizzy Blond) screw in a bed; The film opens with Fallon hollering for her kid sister Kathy (Chaz) to get out of bed and to get ready for school. Chaz wakes up her boyfriend, George (Todd), sleeping beside her and the two immediately start having sex. Dizzy sucks on brunette Chaz’s real tits before moving down to her pussy. Chaz follows up by sucking on Dizzy’s cock, getting him ready for the big moment – reverse cowgirl sex. It’s pretty hot watching this real-life (well, back then) couple screwing. At one point while riding Todd, Chaz looks back and mutters, “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” They spoon for a few minutes, following up with some doggie-style and a cum-shot from Todd deposited on Chaz’s pubes.
Cameo and Cal Jammer in a barn while Fallon spies on them from a connecting loft; Cameo watches a buffed-out ranch hand Cal Jammer, as he works on the farm. The two move into a nearby barn where Cal proceeds to remove his shirt for Cameo. This seems to put her in the mood for some sex and quickly starts off by sucking on Cal’s nipple. She makes her way down to his cock, not stopping until she has the whole thing down her gullet. Cal stops to rub his cock on Cameo’s tits, before sucking on her pussy. They screw in missionary, sitting cowgirl and doggie. Cameo comes to life during the doggie and even emotes some sounds before Cal pops all over her sweaty backside.
Debi Diamond and Fallon in a barn; Debi spots the platinum-wigged Fallon rubbing herself to the pair fucking in the loft next door. She meanders up to Fallon, surprising her in the process. The two continue to watch the couple screw before initiating their own heated encounter. Easily the best scene of the tape finds Debi and Fallon stripping down and rubbing their tits together. Debi looks amazing here, sucking on Fallon’s boobs, and she, returning the favour. Debi is a full-fledged whore with hundreds of titles under her belt — she’s a woman who knows exactly what she’s doing in the sack, and in this scene it shows! Here, Debi goes down on Fallon, seemingly with the sole intention of making that infamous pussy go off in her face. She tongues, pokes, licks, stuffs, frigs and basically goes wild on Fallon’s twat until the sucker is spraying fuck juice everywhere. In a really sexy moment, Debi dives in to catch some of Fallon’s load across her face and on her tits. Man, I love watching Fallon squirt. She seems to go crazy; her whole body shakes, her legs go ga-ga, and she huffs and puffs like she just ran a 1 mile marathon in 3.2 seconds. Debi also looks pretty amazed by her partner. In a great turnaround, a totally flustered Fallon decides to go down on a very appreciative Debi, but it isn’t half as exciting, even though Debi does appear to cum.
Debi Diamond and Cal Jammer (last seen around here in “Undercover Lover“) screw in a bed; Debi is shown standing outside the barn watching Cal Jammer as he chops wood. From the way she’s eyeing him it’s pretty clear what Debi wants. She trots up to him and the two begin conversing. She tells him that she was watching him fuck the girl in the barn earlier to which Cal apologizes repeatedly, not realizing that Debi didn’t really mind. She starts rubbing her tits (wrapped tightly in a black shirt) and, with that, Cal sorta figures out what Debi is after. He suggests that they see each other some time and get to know each other better. Debi likes the idea and wants to run off at that moment. Cal is hesitant because he has to work, but agrees to meet with her later. Debi isn’t satisfied with that anwer and screams, “Now!” The scene quickly shifts to a bedroom where Debi throws Cal onto a large bed. It seems that they are about to get to know each other a little better – porno style. They remove their clothes, sorta half-assed, as they are fellating each other. Debi gets naked except for a black bra and some white socks. Sorta liked the socks, but I’m not sure why? Anyways, she sucks his cock for awhile before he slips it to her in spoon. They fuck in missionary for a few minutes, and then doggie. They do a mild ‘gag-factor’ blowjob with Debi’s head draped over the side of the bed as Jammer pumps her throat. Debi receives her second facial of the film, although this cum-shot is a little more protein-packed than the one Fallon delivered on her earlier. Cal squirts a good load across Diamond’s face to end the scene.
Fallon and Dan Cooper on a stool outside the barn; Last scene finds Fallon hooking up with her real-life boyfriend Dan Cooper (last seen around here in “Squirt Last Drop“) . The whole scene isn’t very interesting, but there is a really good shot of Dan frigging Fallon to her second intense squirt of the flick. She pops almost directly into the camera this time – very hot! It’s the very beginning of the scene however, and not much happens afterwards. Somebody should tell the editor that you always save the good stuff for the end of a scene – build some momentum first before getting off the big climax. Ah, what can you do? There is some standard porno sex between the couple including some boring doggie-style action and a quick uninspiring Dan Cooper pop onto Fallon’s butt. I’m not really sure which has a more prodigious orgasm, Dan or Fallon? My money is on Fallon.
The second Fallon squirt is replayed in slow motion as the screen credits roll over it, thus ending the film.